Friday, May 11, 2012

fully alive with may

Loss of Muscle Mass Strength plus Osteoporosis
Osteoporosis is the progressive decline in the density of bones that worsens as the sex hormones and nutrients of the bones diminishes in the body. If the male hormone is used in building protein which is the ingredient in building body tissue, and if it is used in the production of blood cells in the bone marrow, then of course it will affect muscle mass and strength. To maintain bone density, the body requires an adequate supply of calcium and other minerals and must produce the proper amounts of hormones such as parathyroid hormone, growth hormone, calcitonin, oestrogen in women and testosterone in men. Also an adequate amount of vitamin D is required to absorb calcium from food and incorporate it into the bones. If the mineral content of bones is not well regulated by the body, the bones become less dense and more fragile resulting in osteoporosis. The thinning of bones is exacerbated by smoking, too much consumption of alcohol, the use of steroids, inadequate intake of calcium and sedentary life style.
During menopause and andropause, three to five percent of bones is lost each year and this results in minor injuries causing fractures of the vertebrae, hips and wrist bones.
The best way to slow down this degeneration is do regular weight bearing exercises such as climbing stairs and lifting objects that are quite weighty but not too heavy as to course some strains in the body. Mid lifers must learn to bend at the knee to carry weights and not at the hips to minimize the risk of slipped disc.
Anaerobic exercises such as strength training causes the body to secrete a human growth hormone which is a precursor to building bone cells while aerobic exercises increase insulin  and glucagon level  which are used to produce glucose and hence the energy level of the muscles.  Glucagon expands blood vessels thereby increasing the nutrient and oxygen bearing blood to muscle tissues and bearing away lactic acid when leaving.
Calcium and other vitamins and mineral supplement should be taken regularly at this stage to strengthen the weakened bones.
Women will do well to take other supplements that produce hormone substances (phytoestrogens) such as bitter leaf (vernonia amygdalina), soybean. evening primrose oil, to boost the lowered hormone effect of the body.
For the men, they will have to avoid taking much of those phytoestrogen-producing plants because, their effect like the oestrogen they mimic, antagonize the effect of the male hormone-testosterone, thereby worsening their own symptoms.

    EPISODE 21 AND 22
Most of the health problems we are talking about here are due to deficiency in the male or female hormones. And we always advise that you do not jump into replacement as a solution because those substitutes are synthetic; they are not natural and so may elicit some reactions that can lead to cancer.
 Now we all know cancer is not a diagnosis we want to hear if we get to a hospital but what if it happens? Well, for those who already have it, it is not necessarily a license for quick death particularly if identified early. Women should always report any unusual lump in the breast to the hospital and ask for the lump to be removed even if it is not cancerous. If you have occasional blood spots in the private part when you are not in your period, pls go for screening for cervical cancer. And the men should go for a PSA test (Prostrate Specific Antigen) test to check the status of their prostrate. (more of this when we discuss about our prostrate).
BUT IF it happens to be there, pls make sure you are being managed by cancer specialists who are abreast with the latest technology in treating cancer. Do not waste time with quacks or concentrate on prayer houses when you can combine medications with prayers.
• Reduce proteinous food especially red meat that can increase the multiplication of your cells
• Take mistletoe especially the ones harvested from Guava leaves. I gave mistletoe and noni juice to somebody who was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer and out of 10 of them in her group, she was the only one that didn’t lose her hair. And the extreme weakness she used to feel vanished so much that she could combine the therapy with her studies which she had stopped due the procedure.
• Carrot has carotene (provitamin A) which has very high antioxidant and anticancerous activity. A glass of carrot juice made by blending say, 3medium-sized carrot with a glass of water ands be taken every two hours is a good adjunct to cancer treatment.
• Cabbage has similar effect as carrot and can be similarly prepared.
• Garlic eaten raw or boiled and the decoction taken is another good help in managing cancer and many other diseases.
• Spanish grapes is a must for cancer if readily available.
• Echinacea roots boiled and taken frequently, has significant antitumor activity because it increases leukocytes in the body and helps the patient to go through radiation and chemotherapy.
By and large, let anyone identified with cancer avoid much foods that builds cells like proteins because to increase the multiplication of the cancer cells as well. Rather, concentrate on the above listed vegetables and fruits; you can blend carrots and cabbage with garlic together and take them sumptuously, say, every two hours and take the grapes and noni juice in between the vegetables. These juices can even become main meals completely for up to 6-8 weeks before resumption of other meals in small quantity.
As you do this, develop a positive attitude to the situation and pray hard to the almighty through Jesus, pleading the merits of His passion for your healing and raising the standard of your faith over the negative aura of the cancer. I want to state categorically here that cancer is not such a huge monster that we tend to make of it; it is so limited:
a) It cannot cripple love
b) It cannot shatter hope
c) It cannot corrode faith
d) It cannot eat away peace
e) It cannot destroy confidence
f) It cannot kill friendship
g) It cannot shut out memories
h) It cannot silence courage
i) It cannot invade the soul
j) It cannot reduce eternal life
k) It cannot quench the spirit
l) It cannot lessen the power of resurrection
Your will-power and faith will actually determine the extent cancer or anything for that matter can harm your core being.

If every woman must go through menopause and hence have some of the above treated symptoms in varying degrees, at least 80% of men over the age of 40years will notice that their prostrate is not as healthy as it is ought to be if they check it up unless they have been doing something about it from their young age.
The prostate gland lies just under the bladder in the pelvis and surrounds the middle portion of the urethra. Usually, the size of a walnut, this gland enlarges with age, which means that, with age, it narrows the urethra. In time, this could obstruct the flow of the urine and as a result, the muscles of the bladder grow larger and stronger to push urine through.
Due to this somewhat rigidity, the bladder may not empty completely when the patient urinates, making him susceptible to stone formation. Prolonged obstruction can cause damage to the kidneys.
As I said sometime before, every man from the age of 40 and above should try and perform the Prostrate Specific Antigen (PSA) test which can detect any trace of cancer early. But in the mean time, all men should befriend Pumpkin seeds and Saw palmetto, Green tea, Omega 3  fish oil and cruciferous vegetables.
Lemon juice and even the decoction of lemon rinds(boiling in water to extract the minerals) help tremendously with kidney stones and toxic accumulation in the joints and prostate by alkalinizing the entire body thereby dissolving deposited acids. In addition it has some citrates especially, potassium citrate which help to clear deposits in the unwanted sites.

With the drop in life expectancy in the developing world due to stress, inadequate medical care and poverty, loss of spouse seem to be a common feature of the middle age rather than old age. I co-ordinate a faith-based widows’ group spread out over many parishes and tribes in this country called (women of divine group) and I can tell you that the age range of members is between 35 – 60 years of age. And that’s the midlife range. This qualifies widowhood as a midlife challenge.
Problems of young widows in the African setting range from fear of the future, poverty, because most couples here live below the middle income, seizure of property (coveting of rights), abandonment by relatives, leading to loneliness, social insecurity, vulnerability to sexual abuse and immorality regarding sexual matters and difficulties in single parenting.
Fear for the future
A woman in her thirties to fifties who loses her husband to death is confronted with the fear for her future life and old age. She naturally goes through the grieving stages of shock, disbelief, realization and fear. Some fear that their partners may come for them especially if they were very close before separation but most others fear for a lonely old age. And because of this, they stubbornly clutch at the dead spouse emotionally and psychologically and spend time and energy that should have been used in facing reality into grieving, self-pity and anger.
Steps for recovery
1) Parting must come at a time we have no control over. We can only pray and hope for a long life but we must still allow God to be God in our lives.
2) Release spouse to his rest
3) Remember that the children are looking up to you for strength and your dead spouse is trusting that you will be there for them. So put yourself together and adjust the family’s lifestyle to suit your present income. Confide your plans and reasons to your children so that they can co-operate with you.
4) Then don’t cross any bridge before you get there. Concern on surviving each day and TRUST GOD to provide for tomorrow.
REM: In a very big storm, big trees may be pulled down but the fragile  flowers at the base of the trees are left untouched when the storm is over. God seems to be more interested in preserving the weak and fragile. You will make it.


In our numerous for a, at least 80% of widows and abandoned mothers will tell you that the siblings of their husbands were more interested in carting away the property and money than the welfare of the family their late brother left behind. Some women have gone home for burial only to come back to a flat vandalized by in-laws trying to get their own share of their brother’s goodies irrespective of whether the man and his wife worked for those things together. Others are immediately thrown out or given a quit notice of they are living in a shared compound with an in-law; they do not want the woman and the children to get the impression that they are part-owners of the house. And the stories can  go on.
On the other hand, some women try to disregard or push aside all late husband’s siblings as if they are not also grieving and missing whatever contribution the man was making to the big family when he was alive, especially if the dead was well enough and concerned enough to be catering for everyone in the family.
However the case may be, we have to try and appreciate one thing; fraternity or brotherly love in the bigger family or kindred is one cultural value that Africans still have in abundance and which we must all try to maintain, reclaim and even export.  Given that civilization, adventure and quest for knowledge is scattering us abroad, we should all do whatever it takes to keep in touch with home, care for the family members enough to continuously forgive their failings and help however we can.
A widow who has children for a family should be helped to bring up those children because they belong there and not to her maiden family. And there’s hardly anyone who will not pay back love with love at the appropriate time. You cannot claim to love your brother and make him weep in the grave by ill-treating his family. And a woman who has the means should not neglect her mother-in-law whom her husband was catering for before his demise.
In short, let’s always put ourselves in our neighbor’s shoes and show practical love. And we see that the hand that gives is always on top.

Women who are mostly hit by widowhood are those who have not learned early in life to adapt to different life situations, who were over pampered and thought everyone should be at their beck and call and those who have failed to face reality.
As a maiden in her father’s house, a woman has her parent’s protection, as a wife she has her husband’s protection, but as a widow, particularly a young one, she finds herself apparently alone. The kids may be too young for her to confide her fears and experiences too and even when assaulted our societal security system often does not give adequate protection to our women except if she poses extra-hard for justice.
So what to do?
Everywoman who finds herself alone due to loss of spouse should try to live for today and not continue to lament about yesterday. Life may have been more comfortable when her husband was alive; her friends may have been many when her husband was alive; her children may have been attending the best school and so on. But now the story is probably different. She should accept it and find ways to move on.
If the woman’s income will not sustain the family’s living standard and projections, she should confide her plans to the children and then stir the lifestyle to the level she can sustain in such a way that the children do not feel that their world is cracking. Anyone in any status of life can still achieve his dreams if there are planned goals, dedication and trust in divine providence.
Again she not place her hope on any living person; trusted family friends, thoughtful relations and church members can be of immense help she should see those helps/interventions as pleasant surprises rather than fulfillment of expectations. If not, she will increase her vulnerability to Greek gifts and to disappointments.
1. Face reality
2. Confide in your children and impart confidence in them
3. Join healthy support groups and make friends with those who have experienced similar traumas in life and managed them well
4. Work hard but know when to rest
5. Have unshakable trust in God
6. Try to always be calm and happy even in the midst of the storm

Detoxifying the body
Much must have been ingested during the holidays in the spirit of celebration that are not exactly beneficial to bodly such as too much alcohol, too much oil and fatty food, red meat, smoking, eating late in the night at paries and so on.
Another way of cleansing the blood is by embarking on fruit fast.
Some people use one fruit like pawpaw all through the day and maybe end the day with a light vegetable soup prepared with very little oil( or non at all) and some fish. Alternatively, you can use a mixture of carrot and cabbage blended with clean water. A tablespoon of honey may be added to each message. Here, the fruit juice should be prepared as at when needed since the one prepared and stored for further use tend to lose some of the necessary constituents like vitamin A.
After a week or so of this cleansing, normal feeding may be gradually re-introduced into the daily diet, still starting the day with 3to 4 cups of water, eating a balanced diet at each meal but making sure that dinner is not taken beyond 7.30pm and red meat and raw sugar are reduced to the minimum, if not completely done away with.
You can’t be serious about detoxifying the body without stopping the habits that toxify the system such as smoking, much alcohol, much bad oil, raw sugar and general irresponsible life style.

Apart from the various health benefits of mistletoe which include blood pressure balancing, positive effect on the pancreas thereby helping diabetics and increasing immunity, the plant also alkalinizes the body thereby neutralizing acid deposits in the joints and organs and making more functional. When the deposits in the kidneys and liver are  washed away, they can filter more and function better. And when the joints are rid of acid deposits and urea, the joints become more flexible and pain will be reduced.

I had to come back to this topic because it is increasingly turning to a pandemic in our society and we are certainly not doing enough to confront the menace.
Stroke (also called cerebrovascular accident) is the death of brain tissue resulting from lack of blood flow and insufficient oxygen to the brain. Toxins in the blood which include bad cholesterol, deposits from smoking and excessive intake of alcohol, and others might clog the arteries supplying blood to the brain, thereby starving the brain of sufficient blood with its nutrients and oxygen. Or again, infections or too much accumulation of acidic metabolites of red meat and other foods( esp artificial drinks) may attack the blood vessels resulting in their rupture and so diverts blood that should go to the brain and soon causes stroke.
Strange feelings like dizziness, sharp and unusual pain in the heart or swelling in the brain should send anyone to a good hospital for thorough investigation but most strokes begin suddenly, develop rapidly and cause damage within minutes. Most victims lose consciousness within seconds and that I keep saying that if you notice these symptoms start coughing deeply and vigorously to activate a stopping heart and pump more blood and oxygen through.
It is time ministry of health begin to enforce the acquisition of AUTOMATED EXTERNAL DEFRIBILLATORS  in all hospitals and medical centers, large work places and religious places and training the general public on their uses and in the proper way to administer CARDIOPULMONARY RESURSCITATION(CPR).
In the meantime, if someone slumps in your presence, send for a vehicle or ambulance to convey to the hospital, quickly look for a tablet of aspirin and place under the tongue, the begin CPR:

Typhoid fever is an infection caused by salmonella typhi.
The proliferation of this disease has become unprecedented in recent times and its management alone now gulps almost half of individual and corporate health budget and has dangerously increased the abuse of antibiotics by our people.
Typhoid bacteria are shed in the faeces and urine of infected people. Inadequate hand washing after defecation or urination may spread the bacteria to food or water supplies. Flies may spread the bacteria directly from faeces to food. About 3% of people who are infected with the bacteria and never got treated plus many who are not adequately treated for the disease may be shedding the bacteria in their stool for over a year without presenting with symptoms.

Check the source of your water, and if not trusted, boil it or use waterguard. Stop buying food from bukas near open gutters, toilets or overflowing suckaways. In using the toilets in your home or offices try to keep some disinfectant or methylated spirit handy to clean the toilet seat and drop some into the toilet in case of any splash on your body. Stop jumping into buying antibiotics each time you have a fever with the unproved conclusion that you have typhoid fever. One; you may not even have the disease and will be weakening your system by taking an antibiotic that you don’t need; you are not likely to buy the right or adequate medication even if you have it. And if you taking adequate treatment from the right place, complement your hospital treatment by taking apples, garlic, thyme tea, lemon  and Echinacea prep. They all have antibacterial effects and stimulate detoxification of the liver and kidney.

Episode 32
Usually a chronic effect and so the long use pain killers tend to overwhelm the body. TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE ARTHRITIC OR GOUTY PAIN, the goal should be:
1. To strengthen the bones,
2. Repair damaged joint tissues
3. Increase immune system against bacteria and viruses
4. Reduce pain.
Use calcium plus vitamin D and other mineral supplements, use glucosamine plus omega 3 and Rosehip to repair damaged tissues; do some aerobic exercises and drink lemon juice to strengthen and detoxify the joints, Use antioxidants( fruits and vegetables) to boost immune system;  use noni juice, mistletoe tea to complement the pain killers and nourish the joint tissues and apply ointments that have shea butter and beeswax plus some kind of heat to increase blood circulation in the area.

Kidney problems are as varied as there are different approaches to managing them. Too much medications, genetic problems, chronic diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes and a host of other factors may all affect the kidney negatively. And so an unusual pain in your back flank, swollen legs or face and or blood in your urine calls for an urgent visit to your doctor. The tips we give hear are for those whose cases are already being well managed in the hospital or who have had a kidney problem in the past.
Pure cocoa drink as a regular beverage is good for the kidney because it has diuretic and renal anti-inflammatory effects.
Pumpkin fruit (flesh) has same effect cocoa
Borage leaves increases urine production and aids in the elimination of urea and uric acid,
Corn Styles- the spongy hair- are rich in potassium and flavonoids, which give them diuretic properties; they also contain alantoine, which makes them sedative and anti-inflammatory; and tannins and steroids. Because this diuretic and depurative properties are intense and well tolerated, and does not produce any imbalance in the electrolyte of the blood they are a welcome complement to kidney inflammation, urinary bladder inflammation, gout, arthritis and edema(swollen legs).
To prepare the infusion of corn styles, immerse 30g of styles in a liter of hot water for say 15mins and drink up to 3-5cups a day in the morning and afternoon. Due to strong diuresis, don’t use in prostrate hypertrophy.

Cigarettes are filled with poison that goes into the lungs when you inhale. Coughing, dizziness, and burning of the eyes, nose, and throat are early signs that smoking is harming you. Smoking increases your health risks if you have diabetes, high blood pressure, or high blood cholesterol. The long-term problems of smoking cigarettes are the following:
 •Cancer: Smoking increases your chances of getting cancer. Cigarette smoking may play a role in developing many kinds of cancer. Lung cancer is the most common kind of cancer caused by smoking. A smoker is at greater risk of getting cancer of the lips, mouth, throat, or voice box. Smokers also have a higher risk of getting esophagus, stomach, kidney, pancreas, cervix, bladder, and skin cancer.
•Heart and blood vessel disease:  ◦If you already have heart or blood vessel problems and smoke, you are at even greater risk of having continued or worse health problems. The nicotine in the tobacco causes an increase in your heart rate and blood pressure. The arteries (blood vessels) in your arms and legs tighten and narrow because of the nicotine in cigarette smoke. Cigarette smoke increases blood clotting, and may damage the lining of your heart's arteries and other blood vessels.    Carbon monoxide is a harmful gas that gets into the blood and decreases oxygen going to the heart and the body. Cigarette smoke contains this gas. Hardening of the arteries happens more often in smokers than in nonsmokers. This may make it more likely for you to have a stroke (blood clot in your brain). The more cigarettes you smoke, the greater your risk of a heart attack.
•Lung disease:  The younger you are when you start smoking, the greater your risk of getting lung diseases. Many smokers have a cough which is caused by the chemicals in smoke. These chemicals harm the cilia (tiny hairs) that line the lungs and help remove dirt and waste products. Depending upon how much you smoke, your lungs become gray and "dirty" (they look like charcoal). Healthy lungs are pink.
◦Chronic bronchitis is a serious lung infection which is often caused by smoking. Emphysema is a long-term lung disease that may be caused by smoking cigarettes. Cigarette smoking also makes asthma worse. You are at a higher risk of getting colds, pneumonia, and other lung infections if you smoke.
 Gastrointestinal disease: Cigarette smoking increases the amount of acid that is made by your stomach, and may cause a peptic ulcer. A peptic ulcer is an open sore in the stomach or duodenum (part of the intestine). You may also get gastroesophageal reflux from smoking. This is when you have a backflow of stomach acid into your esophagus (food tube).
 •Other problems: The following are other problems that smoking may cause:
 ◦Bad breath.
  Bad smell in your clothes, hair, and skin.
 Decreased ability to play sports or do physical activities because of breathing problems.
◦Earlier than normal wrinkling of the skin, usually the face.
 ◦Higher risk of bone fractures, such as hip, wrist, or spine.
◦Higher risk of starting a fire. This may happen if you fall asleep with a lit cigarette.
 ◦Men may have problems having an erection.
Sleeping problems.
 ◦Smoking is an expensive (costly) habit. You will save money if you choose to stop smoking.
 ◦Sore throat.
 ◦Staining of teeth.
•Women and smoking: You may have a higher risk of having a heart attack or stroke if you smoke and use birth control pills. This risk is more serious if you are 35 years or older. The risk of losing your unborn baby or having a stillborn baby is higher if you are pregnant and smoke. Babies born to smoking mothers often weigh less, and are at a higher risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). You may have a harder time getting pregnant if you are a smoker. Women who smoke may have a higher risk of osteoporosis (also known as "brittle bones"). Women who smoke also have a higher risk of incontinence, which is when you are unable to control when you urinate.
 Pipes and Cigars-  the risks are the same for people who smoke cigars or pipes as they are for cigarette smokers. There is a risk of getting cancer of the mouth, lip, larynx (voice box), or esophagus if you smoke a cigar or pipe
Snuff : People who use snuff or chewing tobacco have an increased risk of getting mouth or throat cancer. The risk of heart disease, stroke, blood vessel disease and stomach problems is the same as it is for cigarette smokers.
 Passive smoking
Tobacco smoke is dangerous to others. The effect that smoking has on nonsmokers is called "passive smoking". Nonsmokers who breathe tobacco smoke have the same health risks as smokers. Children who are around tobacco smoke may have more colds, ear infections, or other breathing problems.
 Why  quit smoking?
 The benefits from quitting smoking happen right away. Your sense of taste and smell will improve. Your body, clothes, car, and home will not smell of tobacco smoke. Your chance of getting cancer will be reduced as compared to a person who does not quit. As a former smoker, you will live longer than people who continue to smoke. Women who quit smoking before getting pregnant have a better chance of having a healthy baby. You will decrease the health risks of nonsmokers if you stop smoking. By stopping smoking you will also save money.

How to quit?
 ◦Thinking about quitting.
 ◦Decide to quit on a certain day.
 ◦Actually quit.
Avoid people and places that stimulate you to smoke in the meantime
Order quit ‘’smoking aids’’ aids such as NICOBLOCK or write
•Call or write the following for more information about the risks of smoking. www.◦

1. Reduction in birth weight and are shorter.
2. Placental complications
3. Premature rupture of membrane
4. Preterm labour
5. Uterine infections
Birth defects of the heart, brain and face are more common in babies of smoking mothers
Acti on: thought to be caused by carbon monoxide, and may reduce oxygen supply to the body’s tissues and nicotine and stimulate the release of hormones that construct the vessels supplying blood to the placenta and uterus.
Cocaine also constructs blood flow to the fetus, reduced growth, skeletal defects, abnormalyy narrow sects of stomach, hyperactivity and uncontrolled trembling in toddlers.

Fetal alcohol syndrome include growth retardation before or after birth, facial defects, a small head (microcephaly) probably caused by subnormal brain growth, and abnormal behavioural development.
Mental retardation occurs more often from fetal alcohol syndrome than any other source.
Also miscarriages, anti-social behaviour and attention deficit in the child. Low birth weight (1/2 half).

Drug use can affect the foetus in several ways
 By acting directly on the foetus, causing damage, abdominal development or death.
 By altering the function of the placenta, usually by constricting blood vessels and reducing the exchange of oxygen and nutrients between the foetus and the mother.
 By causing the muscles of the uterus to constrict forcefully, indirectly, injuring the foetus by reducing its blood supply
17th-57th day after fertilization – period of organ development.
Sex hormones like synthetic oestrogen, can cause vaginal cancer in adolescent girls whose mothers took this drug during pregnancy. These girls may later suffer from abnormal uterine cavity, menstrual problems, weakened cervix and higher risk of having ectopic pregnancies. Boys who were exposed as foetus may have penis abnormalities.
Tetracycline: cross the placenta and are stored in fetal bone and teeth – where they combine with calcium. As a result, bone growth may be slow, baby’s teeth may be permanently  yellow and the teeth enamel may be soft and susceptible to cavities.
 Streptomycin may damage the fetus inner ear possibly leading to deafness. Chloramphenicol may cause some problems in the new-born. Ciprofloxacin cause joint abnormalities in animals. Most sulphonamides may lead to jaundice – brain damage.

(tree of effe  ctive parenting)
1. Fear and reverence for parents and elders. 1. Children now bolder, less respectful and parents more persuasive.
2. Gro w up slowly with warm environment and less challenging outside influence. 2. Grow fast, thinks quickly, have access to other climax via the media and have constant challenge on what is being taught at home.
3. Less status competition, less media bombardment and more adult support. 3. Stiff competition, media bombardment, individualistic families, drugs, premarital sex, alcohol smoking.

Episode 38
1. Love unconditionally and don’t show favouritism.
2. Don’t be a laisser-faire parent.
3. Begin early to disabuse the minds of external influences.
4. Imperative to teach decision-making skills. To be able to say NO when everyone is saying YES and stick to it.
5. Love them enough to let them learn.
6. Allow significant learning opportunities by letting them face consequences of decisions.
7. Be their model.
8. Let go and allow SLOs.
9. Self-esteem comes from accomplishments.
10.  If you are happy, they are; if you forgive, they learn to.
Self-concept is acquired from childhood and if poor – leads to self-loathing, bullying, arguments with teachers and peers, hatred.
Better to build on positive self-concepts and attributes rather than always highlighting mistakes or set-backs.
Parents should cuddle their children in love because the denial of such affectionate gesture have been shown to stunt even the brain development of the children.But don't hover around the children so much  as not to allow a breathing space.

Drill sergeants  are so bossy that the children are immune from thinking for themselves.
- Mistakes/failure means severe punishment.
Laisser-faire parent don’t give a damn about anything and expect the children to run the home.
The consultant parents – they give thoughtful guidelines and firm, enforceable limits.
Child teenagers abstract thinkers.
GOOD PARENTS ask questions, enlighten about possible consequences of available options and allow children to make the choices.
God gives us choices knowing that free will may lead to failure. But in failure, we learn.

Bedwetting (nocturnal enuresis) is accidental, repeated urination by a sleeping child who is old enough to be expected not to wet the bed.
 About 30% of children still wet the bed at age 4 years, 10 percent at age 6, 3 percent at age 12, and a 1 percent at age 18. Bed-wetting is more common in boys than in girls and seems to run in families. Bed-wetting is usually caused by slow maturation, although it sometimes accompanies such sleep disorders as sleepwalking and night terrors. A physical disorder- usually a urinary tract infection- is found in only 1 to 2 percent of cases. In rare cases, other disorders, such as diabetes, may cause a child to wet the bed.Bed-wetting occasionally is caused by psychiatric problems, either in the child or in another family member.
 Sometimes bed-wetting stops and then begins again. The relapse usually follows a psychologically stressful event or condition, but a physical cause, such as a urinary tract infection, may be responsible.
Behaviour Therapy for Bed-wetting
Child’s responsibilities
 Keep a calendar to record wet and dry nights
 Refrain from drinking any fluids for 2 to 3 hours before going to bed
 Urinate before going to bed
 Change clothing and bedding when wet
Parents’ responsibilities
 Do not punish child for bed-wetting or get angry when bed-wetting occurs.
 Give praise and rewards (a star on the calendar or other rewards, depending on child’s age) for dry nights.
Take the child to rule out any possible underlying medical condition.

Neglect due to separation/divorce, job demand or death can intoxicate the body as much as other physical toxins like the smoking we’ve been talking about.
Divorce diverts the attention of adults away from children and focuses on their painful experiences. And this privation is more critical during the first two years of life for the boy child because of tis psychological and neurological effects.
This is because the brain is a dynamic and interactive organ that requires stimulation from the outside world to develop well. And so when mistreated or shuffled from one caregiver to another, terrible losses occur in thinking capacity.
Researches have shown that most violent kids have increased male hormone (testosterone) and more enlarged amygdala, areas of the brain responsible for risk taking and violent acts.
And research at Harvard  on college students  91% of those who lacked parental bonding developed CHD, HB, ulcers, alcoholism e.t.c at midlife compared to 45% in those that grow normally.
You have the power within you and the grace of God to reclaim your life from whatever has been eating you up. If you want us to talk about it, write us at or call the number on your screen and it shall be well with you.
Bye now.

SOCIAL EFFECT OF depravity on children
We have highlighted the fact that chronic neglect, abuse or shuffling hurt children badly during their developmental age and increases the tendency to violence, anti-social behaviours and Godlessness.
Let us reclaim our extended family values. Economy might be biting a bit hard on us but money cannot buy love. Better a home with scanty luxury but plenty love than one with plenty luxury and constant strife. Besides parental love and character formation have a critical time frame which you cannot reclaim if the time passes by.
I co-ordinate a spectrum of widows and orphans from different strata of social level and I can tell you that nothing as yet, can replace quality time and care given to a needy relative or neighbour. In short, there is no prosthesis for a broken heart.
1. All social media, extended family units churches, mosques, courts, police should be encouraged to participate in reducing the level of family disintegration. Old values of being our brothers’ keepers should be re-enforced.
2.  Schools need to integrate family values, emotional healthiness and character moulding as core subjects in their curriculum instead of leaving it for NGOs.
3. Children who are hyperactive or who are detached, uninterested and miserable need to be properly counselled, loved, encouraged and fed with meals and supplements that sedate nerves and improve memory such oats, ginseng, thymes etc. Banana is rich in tryptophan and is a precursor for building the pacifier hormone – serotonin.
4. Those who are matured and now indulge in violent acts – should be arrested (to secure the society) but should be camped in an institution properly equipped for counselling, brain-monitoring and other forms of psychotherapeutic processes. Because it is only when you know truly what moves them that you can help them, help the society and prevent or reduce the causative factors of their anti-social behaviours. Anti-stress supplements such as ………….. should be.
5. Street boys and girls and even those who have turned to adult miscreants should all be picked up and institutionalised. The houses should be homely and social experts such as trained psychologists, health experts, qualitative religious institutions should be employed to try and heal these people, refocus them and position them for a normal life in the society.
If you suffered so much in your childhood, don’t keep blaming your past and the people who neglected you. Determine to rise above your impediments and the Almighty who says he is the father of the fatherless & husband of the widows will show what he can do. Keep in the right path and write me if you still need to talk.

Episode 42
Puberty is a transitional period from childhood to adulthood during which physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and other changes take place and is usually between 10- 19 years of age.
SIGNS: Breasts shoot out, Growth rate is about 4inches/year, spurt of female hormones, there is menstruation or menarche, oily and pimply faces, mood swings.
Fat begins to deposit on the hips to give the typical female feature and the girl becomes more self-conscious. Internally, hormone interplay give rise to menstruation and ovulation and this means the girl’s reproductive organ can now conceive a baby, house it and nurture it to birth.
At this stage any who indulges in sex with the opposite sex may get pregnant. But if intercourse does not happen, the prepare uterus disintegrates and gets washed off with blood in a process called menstruation and this goes to midlife when the hormones get so low that menstruation ceases and the woman is said to go into menopause.
Reflect on this sacred process that goes on in every woman and send me your comments/questions to

In the last episode we arrived at the fact that reproduction happens in a sacred enclosure indicating that the act of intercourse and childbearing are acts that should be kept sacred. But what do we have?
It is now fashionable to defy Divine order and yet w lament about proliferation of sicknesses like HIV/AIDS, VVF, CERVICAL CANCER spread by human papilloma virus, herpes simplex and other STIs. Also issues like abortions, unwanted pregnancies, premature termination of education, broken dreams and unplanned/unwanted marriages continue to plague us and we don’t want to take the root cause of the problems seriously.
If you miss your period when you know you had intercourse with a boy in recent times, you are most likely pregnant and the baby in your womb is already 2weeks old. On examination when scanned the baby may look like a clot of blood but it is already throbbing in movement as it breathes. THE BREADTH OF GOD IS ALREADY IN THAT CHILD AND ANYTHING YOU DO TO FLUSH OUT THE BABY IS MURDER.
It is bad enough to violate the sacred housing but the evil should not be multiplied by commiting murder. Many women who flushed out their babies are regretting the act even 40 years afterwards.
Confide in your parents or trusted relatives; they may rebuke you but they should relent and help you handle the situation. You may have to be relocated to live with other relations until the baby is born, then you must go back to school and be determined to stay off intimate relationships that may land you in another trouble. Don’t jump into marrying someone you don’t want to live with cos that may condemn you to a life of misery; don’t be in a hurry to give up your baby for adoption- some who did are mourning the loss of their baby for life.

SIGNS: Voice grows deeper, Growth is about 4in/year, testosterone surge, hair in chest, pubic area and chin. Some have pimples on their faces.
Teenage, when puberty happens is the age the male hormone multiply most creating those physical changes and also making the youths want to take risky ventures- including unreasonable ones like driving excessively on the road, fighting to exhibit strength and approaching the opposite sex for friendship as the emotions run soar. They are natural.
But then that’s when character is supposed to be firmly established as the values we were taught as children begin to take root and emotions begin to be trained to be subdued. A wild teenager will display a loose character by displaying all his emotions like shouting at his peers and even elders when provoked, insist on fulfilling all emotional cravings when heated up, and joining all kinds of associations to prove that he is macho. While a real youth will concentrate on learning how to be a real gentleman by taming his emotions, listening to wise counsel so that reason is elevated above passion and studying to expand his brain capacity and be truly educated. This is called  EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
- You must learn to wait for things you want in life;
- You must learn to decipher what is good and bad and say emphatic NO to the bad ones irrespective of what everyone else is saying;
- You must begin to dream about your future—your career, your vocation, your role in the society and what you will like to be remembered for. What kind of home would you like to build and with what kind of woman? What and what must you do or avoid to make sure these dreams become realities in your life?

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