EPISODE 35
SMOKING -- PART TWO
SMOKING AND DEVELOPMENTAL HEALTH
CIGARETTE SMOKING
1. Reduction in birth weight and are shorter.
2. Placental complications
3. Premature rupture of membrane
4. Preterm labour
5. Uterine infections
Birth defects of the heart, brain and face are more common in babies of smoking mothers
Acti on: thought to be caused by carbon monoxide, and may reduce oxygen supply to the body’s tissues and nicotine and stimulate the release of hormones that construct the vessels supplying blood to the placenta and uterus.
Cocaine also constructs blood flow to the fetus, reduced growth, skeletal defects, abnormalyy narrow sects of stomach, hyperactivity and uncontrolled trembling in toddlers.
EPISODE 36
ALCOHOL AND FETAL EFFECT
Fetal alcohol syndrome include growth retardation before or after birth, facial defects, a small head (microcephaly) probably caused by subnormal brain growth, and abnormal behavioural development.
Mental retardation occurs more often from fetal alcohol syndrome than any other source.
Also miscarriages, anti-social behaviour and attention deficit in the child. Low birth weight (1/2 half).
EPISODE 37
DRUG USE DURING PREGNANCY
Drug use can affect the foetus in several ways
By acting directly on the foetus, causing damage, abdominal development or death.
By altering the function of the placenta, usually by constricting blood vessels and reducing the exchange of oxygen and nutrients between the foetus and the mother.
By causing the muscles of the uterus to constrict forcefully, indirectly, injuring the foetus by reducing its blood supply
17th-57th day after fertilization – period of organ development.
Sex hormones like synthetic oestrogen, can cause vaginal cancer in adolescent girls whose mothers took this drug during pregnancy. These girls may later suffer from abnormal uterine cavity, menstrual problems, weakened cervix and higher risk of having ectopic pregnancies. Boys who were exposed as foetus may have penis abnormalities.
Tetracycline: cross the placenta and are stored in fetal bone and teeth – where they combine with calcium. As a result, bone growth may be slow, baby’s teeth may be permanently yellow and the teeth enamel may be soft and susceptible to cavities.
Streptomycin may damage the fetus inner ear possibly leading to deafness. Chloramphenicol may cause some problems in the new-born. Ciprofloxacin cause joint abnormalities in animals. Most sulphonamides may lead to jaundice – brain damage.
EPISODE 38
DEVELOPMENT -----THE CRITICAL YEARS—1 TO 10
THE CRISIS YEARS --- TEENS
(tree of effe ctive parenting)
Challenges
FORMER NOW
1. Fear and reverence for parents and elders. 1. Children now bolder, less respectful and parents more persuasive.
2. Gro w up slowly with warm environment and less challenging outside influence. 2. Grow fast, thinks quickly, have access to other climax via the media and have constant challenge on what is being taught at home.
3. Less status competition, less media bombardment and more adult support. 3. Stiff competition, media bombardment, individualistic families, drugs, premarital sex, alcohol smoking.
PAENTING DURING THE CRITICAL YEARS
1. Love unconditionally and don’t show favouritism.
2. Don’t be a laisser-faire parent.
3. Begin early to disabuse the minds of external influences.
4. Imperative to teach decision-making skills. To be able to say NO when everyone is saying YES and stick to it.
5. Love them enough to let them learn.
6. Allow significant learning opportunities by letting them face consequences of decisions.
7. Be their model.
8. Let go and allow SLOs.
9. Self-esteem comes from accomplishments.
10. If you are happy, they are; if you forgive, they learn to.
Self-concept is acquired from childhood and if poor – leads to self-loathing, bullying, arguments with teachers and peers, hatred.
Better to build on positive self-concepts and attributes rather than always highlighting mistakes or set-backs.
Parents who hover around children and don’t give them a breathing space and do everything for them.
Drill sergeants who are so bossy that the children are immune from thinking for themselves.
- Mistakes/failure means severe punishment.
Laisser-faire parent don’t give a damn about anything and expect the children to run the home.
The consultant parents – they give thoughtful guidelines and firm, enforceable limits.
Child teenagers abstract thinkers.
The parents ask questions, enlighten about possible consequences of available options and allow children to make the choices.
God gives us choices knowing that free will may lead to failure. But in failure, we learn.
EPISODE 39
BEDWETTING
Bedwetting (nocturnal enuresis) is accidental, repeated urination by a sleeping child who is old enough to be expected not to wet the bed.
About 30% of children still wet the bed at age 4 years, 10 percent at age 6, 3 percent at age 12, and a 1 percent at age 18. Bed-wetting is more common in boys than in girls and seems to run in families. Bed-wetting is usually caused by slow maturation, although it sometimes accompanies such sleep disorders as sleepwalking and night terrors. A physical disorder- usually a urinary tract infection- is found in only 1 to 2 percent of cases. In rare cases, other disorders, such as diabetes, may cause a child to wet the bed.bed-wetting occasionally is caused by psychiatric problems, either in the child or in another family member.
Sometimes bed-wetting stops and then begins again. The relapse usually follows a psychologically stressful event or condition, but a physical cause, such as a urinary tract infection, may be responsible.
Behaviour Therapy for Bed-wetting
Child’s responsibilities
Keep a calendar to record wet and dry nights
Refrain from drinking any fluids for 2 to 3 hours before going to bed
Urinate before going to bed
Change clothing and bedding when wet
Parents’ responsibilities
Do not punish child for bed-wetting or get angry when bed-wetting occurs.
Give praise and rewards (a star on the calendar or other rewards, depending on child’s age) for dry nights.
EPISODE 40
EPISODE 40
EFFECT OF NEGLECT/ABUSE ON CHILDREN
Neglect due to separation/divorce, job demand or death can intoxicate the body as much as other physical toxins like the smoking we’ve been talking about.
Divorce diverts the attention of adults away from children and focuses on their painful experiences. And this privation is more critical during the first two years of life for the boy child because of tis psychological and neurological effects.
This is because the brain is a dynamic and interactive organ that requires stimulation from the outside world to develop well. And so when mistreated or shuffled from one caregiver to another, terrible losses occur in thinking capacity.
Researches have shown that most violent kids have increased male hormone (testosterone) and more enlarged amygdala, areas of the brain responsible for risk taking and violent acts.
And research at Harvard on college students 91% of those who lacked parental bonding developed CHD, HB, ulcers, alcoholism e.t.c at midlife compared to 45% in those that grow normally.
1ST TIP
You have the power within you and the grace of God to reclaim your life from whatever has been eating you up. If you want us to talk about it, write us at askmay@yahoo.com or call the number on your screen and it shall be well with you.
Bye now.
CHAPTER 41
SOCIAL EFFECT OF depravity on children
We have highlighted the fact that chronic neglect, abuse or shuffling hurt children badly during their developmental age and increases the tendency to violence, anti-social behaviours and Godlessness.
Recommendations
Let us reclaim our extended family values. Economy might be biting a bit hard on us but money cannot buy love. Better a home with scanty luxury but plenty love than one with plenty luxury and constant strife. Besides parental love and character formation have a critical time frame which you cannot reclaim if the time passes by.
I co-ordinate a spectrum of widows and orphans from different strata of social level and I can tell you that nothing as yet, can replace quality time and care given to a needy relative or neighbour. In short, there is no prosthesis for a broken heart.
1. All social media, extended family units churches, mosques, courts, police should be encouraged to participate in reducing the level of family disintegration. Old values of being our brothers’ keepers should be re-enforced.
2. Schools need to integrate family values, emotional healthiness and character moulding as core subjects in their curriculum instead of leaving it for NGOs.
3. Children who are hyperactive or who are detached, uninterested and miserable need to be properly counselled, loved, encouraged and fed with meals and supplements that sedate nerves and improve memory such oats, ginseng, thymes etc. Banana is rich in tryptophan and is a precursor for building the pacifier hormone – serotonin.
4. Those who are matured and now indulge in violent acts – should be arrested (to secure the society) but should be camped in an institution properly equipped for counselling, brain-monitoring and other forms of psychotherapeutic processes. Because it is only when you know truly what moves them that you can help them, help the society and prevent or reduce the causative factors of their anti-social behaviours. Anti-stress supplements such as ………….. should be.
5. Street boys and girls and even those who have turned to adult miscreants should all be picked up and institutionalised. The houses should be homely and social experts such as trained psychologists, health experts, qualitative religious institutions should be employed to try and heal these people, refocus them and position them for a normal life in the society.
TIPS
If you suffered so much in your childhood, don’t keep blaming your past and the people who neglected you. Determine to rise above your impediments and the Almighty who says he is the father of the fatherless & husband of the widows will show what he can do. Keep in the right path and write me if you still need to talk.
Episode 42
PUBERTY GIRLS---I
Puberty is a transitional period from childhood to adulthood during which physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and other changes take place and usually between 10- 19 years of age.
SIGNS: Breasts shoot out, Growth on 4inches/year, spurt of female hormones, Menstruation or menarche, oily and pimply faces, mood swings.
Fat begins to deposit on the hips to give the typical female feature and the girl becomes more self-conscious. Internally, hormone interplay give rise to menstruation and ovulation and this means the girl’s reproductive organ can now conceive a baby, house it and nurture it to birth.
At this stage any who indulges in sex with the opposite sex may get pregnant. But if intercourse does not happen, the prepare uterus disintegrates and gets washed off with blood in a process called menstruation and this goes to midlife when the hormones get so low that menstruation ceases and the woman is said to go into menopause.
NOW ALL THESE PROCESSES TAKE PLACE IN A REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN HOUSED IN A BONE CAVITY CALLED THE SACRAL BONE. SACRAL IS FROM THE WORD SACRED indicating that what happens in that organ is sacred.
Reflect on this sacred process that goes on in every woman and send me your comments/questions to askmay@yahoo.com
EPISODE 44
PUBERTY GIRLS II
In the last episode we arrived at the fact that reproduction happens in a sacred enclosure indicating that the act of intercourse and childbearing are acts that should be kept sacred. But what do we have?
It is now fashionable to defy Divine order and yet w lament about proliferation of sicknesses like HIV/AIDS, VVF, CERVICAL CANCER spread by human papilloma virus, herpes simplex and other STIs. Also issues like abortions, unwanted pregnancies, premature termination of education, broken dreams and unplanned/unwanted marriages continue to plague us and we don’t want to take the root cause of the problems seriously.
If you miss your period when you know you had intercourse with a boy in recent times, you are most likely pregnant and the baby in your womb is already 2weeks old. On examination when scanned the baby may look like a clot of blood but it is already throbbing in movement as it breathes. THE BREADTH OF GOD IS ALREADY IN THAT CHILD AND ANYTHING YOU DO TO FLUSH OUT THE BABY IS MURDER.
It is bad enough to violate the sacred housing but the evil should not be multiplied by commiting murder. Many women who flushed out their babies are regretting the act even 40 years afterwards.
Confide in your parents or trusted relatives; they may rebuke you but they should relent and help you handle the situation. You may have to be relocated to live with other relations until the baby is born, then you must go back to school and be determined to stay off intimate relationships that may land you in another trouble. Don’t jump into marrying someone you don’t want to live with cos that may condemn you to life of misery, don’t be in a hurry to give up your baby for adoption- some who did are mourning the loss of their baby for life.
EPISODE 44
PUBERTY –BOYS
SIGNS: Voice grows deep[er, Growth about 4in/year, testosterone surge, hair in chest, pubic area chin. Some have pimples on their faces.
Teenage, when puberty happens is the age the male hormone multiply most creating those physical changes and also making the youths want to take risky ventures- including unreasonable ones like driving excessively on the road, fighting to exhibit strength and approaching the opposite sex for friedship as the emotions run soar. They are natural.
But then that’s when character is supposed to be firmly established as the values we were taught as children begin to take root and emotions begin to be trained to be subdued. A wild teenager will display a loose character by displaying all his emotions like shouting at his peers and even elders when provoked, insist on fulfilling all emotional cravings when heated up, and joining all kinds of associations to prove that he is macho. While a real youth will concentrate on learning how to be a real gentleman by taming his emotions, listening to wise counsel so that reason is elevated above passion and studying to expand his brain capacity and be truly educated. This called is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
- You must learn to wait for things you want in life;
- You must learn to decipher what is good and bad and say emphatic NO to the bad ones irrespective of what everyone else is saying;
- You must begin to dream about your future—your career, your vocation, your role in the society and what you will like to be remembered for. What kind of home would you like to build and with what kind of woman? What and what must you do or avoid to make sure these dreams become realities in your life?
- I WILL LIKE TO SHARE YOUR DREAMS SO FEEL FREE TO WRITE VIA SMS OR MY E-MAIL and rem to check blog site,
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
fully alive with may
EPISODE 20
Loss of Muscle Mass Strength plus Osteoporosis
Osteoporosis is the progressive decline in the density of bones that worsens as the sex hormones and nutrients of the bones diminishes in the body. If the male hormone is used in building protein which is the ingredient in building body tissue, and if it is used in the production of blood cells in the bone marrow, then of course it will affect muscle mass and strength. To maintain bone density, the body requires an adequate supply of calcium and other minerals and must produce the proper amounts of hormones such as parathyroid hormone, growth hormone, calcitonin, oestrogen in women and testosterone in men. Also an adequate amount of vitamin D is required to absorb calcium from food and incorporate it into the bones. If the mineral content of bones is not well regulated by the body, the bones become less dense and more fragile resulting in osteoporosis. The thinning of bones is exacerbated by smoking, too much consumption of alcohol, the use of steroids, inadequate intake of calcium and sedentary life style.
During menopause and andropause, three to five percent of bones is lost each year and this results in minor injuries causing fractures of the vertebrae, hips and wrist bones.
The best way to slow down this degeneration is do regular weight bearing exercises such as climbing stairs and lifting objects that are quite weighty but not too heavy as to course some strains in the body. Mid lifers must learn to bend at the knee to carry weights and not at the hips to minimize the risk of slipped disc.
Anaerobic exercises such as strength training causes the body to secrete a human growth hormone which is a precursor to building bone cells while aerobic exercises increase insulin and glucagon level which are used to produce glucose and hence the energy level of the muscles. Glucagon expands blood vessels thereby increasing the nutrient and oxygen bearing blood to muscle tissues and bearing away lactic acid when leaving.
Calcium and other vitamins and mineral supplement should be taken regularly at this stage to strengthen the weakened bones.
Women will do well to take other supplements that produce hormone substances (phytoestrogens) such as bitter leaf (vernonia amygdalina), soybean. evening primrose oil, to boost the lowered hormone effect of the body.
For the men, they will have to avoid taking much of those phytoestrogen-producing plants because, their effect like the oestrogen they mimic, antagonize the effect of the male hormone-testosterone, thereby worsening their own symptoms.
EPISODE 21 AND 22
TIPS ON CANCER
Most of the health problems we are talking about here are due to deficiency in the male or female hormones. And we always advise that you do not jump into replacement as a solution because those substitutes are synthetic; they are not natural and so may elicit some reactions that can lead to cancer.
Now we all know cancer is not a diagnosis we want to hear if we get to a hospital but what if it happens? Well, for those who already have it, it is not necessarily a license for quick death particularly if identified early. Women should always report any unusual lump in the breast to the hospital and ask for the lump to be removed even if it is not cancerous. If you have occasional blood spots in the private part when you are not in your period, pls go for screening for cervical cancer. And the men should go for a PSA test (Prostrate Specific Antigen) test to check the status of their prostrate. (more of this when we discuss about our prostrate).
BUT IF it happens to be there, pls make sure you are being managed by cancer specialists who are abreast with the latest technology in treating cancer. Do not waste time with quacks or concentrate on prayer houses when you can combine medications with prayers.
TIPS
• Reduce proteinous food especially red meat that can increase the multiplication of your cells
• Take mistletoe especially the ones harvested from Guava leaves. I gave mistletoe and noni juice to somebody who was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer and out of 10 of them in her group, she was the only one that didn’t lose her hair. And the extreme weakness she used to feel vanished so much that she could combine the therapy with her studies which she had stopped due the procedure.
• Carrot has carotene (provitamin A) which has very high antioxidant and anticancerous activity. A glass of carrot juice made by blending say, 3medium-sized carrot with a glass of water ands be taken every two hours is a good adjunct to cancer treatment.
• Cabbage has similar effect as carrot and can be similarly prepared.
• Garlic eaten raw or boiled and the decoction taken is another good help in managing cancer and many other diseases.
• Spanish grapes is a must for cancer if readily available.
• Echinacea roots boiled and taken frequently, has significant antitumor activity because it increases leukocytes in the body and helps the patient to go through radiation and chemotherapy.
By and large, let anyone identified with cancer avoid much foods that builds cells like proteins because to increase the multiplication of the cancer cells as well. Rather, concentrate on the above listed vegetables and fruits; you can blend carrots and cabbage with garlic together and take them sumptuously, say, every two hours and take the grapes and noni juice in between the vegetables. These juices can even become main meals completely for up to 6-8 weeks before resumption of other meals in small quantity.
As you do this, develop a positive attitude to the situation and pray hard to the almighty through Jesus, pleading the merits of His passion for your healing and raising the standard of your faith over the negative aura of the cancer. I want to state categorically here that cancer is not such a huge monster that we tend to make of it; it is so limited:
a) It cannot cripple love
b) It cannot shatter hope
c) It cannot corrode faith
d) It cannot eat away peace
e) It cannot destroy confidence
f) It cannot kill friendship
g) It cannot shut out memories
h) It cannot silence courage
i) It cannot invade the soul
j) It cannot reduce eternal life
k) It cannot quench the spirit
l) It cannot lessen the power of resurrection
Your will-power and faith will actually determine the extent cancer or anything for that matter can harm your core being.
EPISODE 23
PROSTRATE ALERT
If every woman must go through menopause and hence have some of the above treated symptoms in varying degrees, at least 80% of men over the age of 40years will notice that their prostrate is not as healthy as it is ought to be if they check it up unless they have been doing something about it from their young age.
The prostate gland lies just under the bladder in the pelvis and surrounds the middle portion of the urethra. Usually, the size of a walnut, this gland enlarges with age, which means that, with age, it narrows the urethra. In time, this could obstruct the flow of the urine and as a result, the muscles of the bladder grow larger and stronger to push urine through.
Due to this somewhat rigidity, the bladder may not empty completely when the patient urinates, making him susceptible to stone formation. Prolonged obstruction can cause damage to the kidneys.
As I said sometime before, every man from the age of 40 and above should try and perform the Prostrate Specific Antigen (PSA) test which can detect any trace of cancer early. But in the mean time, all men should befriend Pumpkin seeds and Saw palmetto, Green tea, Omega 3 fish oil and cruciferous vegetables.
Lemon juice and even the decoction of lemon rinds(boiling in water to extract the minerals) help tremendously with kidney stones and toxic accumulation in the joints and prostate by alkalinizing the entire body thereby dissolving deposited acids. In addition it has some citrates especially, potassium citrate which help to clear deposits in the unwanted sites.
EPISODE 24
WIDOWHOOD
With the drop in life expectancy in the developing world due to stress, inadequate medical care and poverty, loss of spouse seem to be a common feature of the middle age rather than old age. I co-ordinate a faith-based widows’ group spread out over many parishes and tribes in this country called (women of divine group) and I can tell you that the age range of members is between 35 – 60 years of age. And that’s the midlife range. This qualifies widowhood as a midlife challenge.
Problems of young widows in the African setting range from fear of the future, poverty, because most couples here live below the middle income, seizure of property (coveting of rights), abandonment by relatives, leading to loneliness, social insecurity, vulnerability to sexual abuse and immorality regarding sexual matters and difficulties in single parenting.
Fear for the future
A woman in her thirties to fifties who loses her husband to death is confronted with the fear for her future life and old age. She naturally goes through the grieving stages of shock, disbelief, realization and fear. Some fear that their partners may come for them especially if they were very close before separation but most others fear for a lonely old age. And because of this, they stubbornly clutch at the dead spouse emotionally and psychologically and spend time and energy that should have been used in facing reality into grieving, self-pity and anger.
Steps for recovery
1) Parting must come at a time we have no control over. We can only pray and hope for a long life but we must still allow God to be God in our lives.
2) Release spouse to his rest
3) Remember that the children are looking up to you for strength and your dead spouse is trusting that you will be there for them. So put yourself together and adjust the family’s lifestyle to suit your present income. Confide your plans and reasons to your children so that they can co-operate with you.
4) Then don’t cross any bridge before you get there. Concern on surviving each day and TRUST GOD to provide for tomorrow.
REM: In a very big storm, big trees may be pulled down but the fragile flowers at the base of the trees are left untouched when the storm is over. God seems to be more interested in preserving the weak and fragile. You will make it.
EPISODE 25
WIDOWHOOD – SENSITIVITY AND GREED
In our numerous for a, at least 80% of widows and abandoned mothers will tell you that the siblings of their husbands were more interested in carting away the property and money than the welfare of the family their late brother left behind. Some women have gone home for burial only to come back to a flat vandalized by in-laws trying to get their own share of their brother’s goodies irrespective of whether the man and his wife worked for those things together. Others are immediately thrown out or given a quit notice of they are living in a shared compound with an in-law; they do not want the woman and the children to get the impression that they are part-owners of the house. And the stories can go on.
On the other hand, some women try to disregard or push aside all late husband’s siblings as if they are not also grieving and missing whatever contribution the man was making to the big family when he was alive, especially if the dead was well enough and concerned enough to be catering for everyone in the family.
However the case may be, we have to try and appreciate one thing; fraternity or brotherly love in the bigger family or kindred is one cultural value that Africans still have in abundance and which we must all try to maintain, reclaim and even export. Given that civilization, adventure and quest for knowledge is scattering us abroad, we should all do whatever it takes to keep in touch with home, care for the family members enough to continuously forgive their failings and help however we can.
A widow who has children for a family should be helped to bring up those children because they belong there and not to her maiden family. And there’s hardly anyone who will not pay back love with love at the appropriate time. You cannot claim to love your brother and make him weep in the grave by ill-treating his family. And a woman who has the means should not neglect her mother-in-law whom her husband was catering for before his demise.
In short, let’s always put ourselves in our neighbor’s shoes and show practical love. And we see that the hand that gives is always on top.
EPISODE 26
WIDOWHOOD AND SOCIAL ADJUSTMENT
Women who are mostly hit by widowhood are those who have not learned early in life to adapt to different life situations, who were over pampered and thought everyone should be at their beck and call and those who have failed to face reality.
As a maiden in her father’s house, a woman has her parent’s protection, as a wife she has her husband’s protection, but as a widow, particularly a young one, she finds herself apparently alone. The kids may be too young for her to confide her fears and experiences too and even when assaulted our societal security system often does not give adequate protection to our women except if she poses extra-hard for justice.
So what to do?
Everywoman who finds herself alone due to loss of spouse should try to live for today and not continue to lament about yesterday. Life may have been more comfortable when her husband was alive; her friends may have been many when her husband was alive; her children may have been attending the best school and so on. But now the story is probably different. She should accept it and find ways to move on.
If the woman’s income will not sustain the family’s living standard and projections, she should confide her plans to the children and then stir the lifestyle to the level she can sustain in such a way that the children do not feel that their world is cracking. Anyone in any status of life can still achieve his dreams if there are planned goals, dedication and trust in divine providence.
Again she not place her hope on any living person; trusted family friends, thoughtful relations and church members can be of immense help she should see those helps/interventions as pleasant surprises rather than fulfillment of expectations. If not, she will increase her vulnerability to Greek gifts and to disappointments.
SAFETY LINES
1. Face reality
2. Confide in your children and impart confidence in them
3. Join healthy support groups and make friends with those who have experienced similar traumas in life and managed them well
4. Work hard but know when to rest
5. Have unshakable trust in God
6. Try to always be calm and happy even in the midst of the storm
EPISODE 27
Detoxifying the body
Much must have been ingested during the holidays in the spirit of celebration that are not exactly beneficial to bodly such as too much alcohol, too much oil and fatty food, red meat, smoking, eating late in the night at paries and so on.
Detoxification—LEMON JUICE THERAPY
Another way of cleansing the blood is by embarking on fruit fast.
Some people use one fruit like pawpaw all through the day and maybe end the day with a light vegetable soup prepared with very little oil( or non at all) and some fish. Alternatively, you can use a mixture of carrot and cabbage blended with clean water. A tablespoon of honey may be added to each message. Here, the fruit juice should be prepared as at when needed since the one prepared and stored for further use tend to lose some of the necessary constituents like vitamin A.
After a week or so of this cleansing, normal feeding may be gradually re-introduced into the daily diet, still starting the day with 3to 4 cups of water, eating a balanced diet at each meal but making sure that dinner is not taken beyond 7.30pm and red meat and raw sugar are reduced to the minimum, if not completely done away with.
You can’t be serious about detoxifying the body without stopping the habits that toxify the system such as smoking, much alcohol, much bad oil, raw sugar and general irresponsible life style.
EPISODE 29
MISTLE TOE AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO LEMON JUICE
Apart from the various health benefits of mistletoe which include blood pressure balancing, positive effect on the pancreas thereby helping diabetics and increasing immunity, the plant also alkalinizes the body thereby neutralizing acid deposits in the joints and organs and making more functional. When the deposits in the kidneys and liver are washed away, they can filter more and function better. And when the joints are rid of acid deposits and urea, the joints become more flexible and pain will be reduced.
EPISODE 30
SUDDEN CARDIAC ARREST
I had to come back to this topic because it is increasingly turning to a pandemic in our society and we are certainly not doing enough to confront the menace.
Stroke (also called cerebrovascular accident) is the death of brain tissue resulting from lack of blood flow and insufficient oxygen to the brain. Toxins in the blood which include bad cholesterol, deposits from smoking and excessive intake of alcohol, and others might clog the arteries supplying blood to the brain, thereby starving the brain of sufficient blood with its nutrients and oxygen. Or again, infections or too much accumulation of acidic metabolites of red meat and other foods( esp artificial drinks) may attack the blood vessels resulting in their rupture and so diverts blood that should go to the brain and soon causes stroke.
Strange feelings like dizziness, sharp and unusual pain in the heart or swelling in the brain should send anyone to a good hospital for thorough investigation but most strokes begin suddenly, develop rapidly and cause damage within minutes. Most victims lose consciousness within seconds and that I keep saying that if you notice these symptoms start coughing deeply and vigorously to activate a stopping heart and pump more blood and oxygen through.
It is time ministry of health begin to enforce the acquisition of AUTOMATED EXTERNAL DEFRIBILLATORS in all hospitals and medical centers, large work places and religious places and training the general public on their uses and in the proper way to administer CARDIOPULMONARY RESURSCITATION(CPR).
In the meantime, if someone slumps in your presence, send for a vehicle or ambulance to convey to the hospital, quickly look for a tablet of aspirin and place under the tongue, the begin CPR:
LET THE PERSON FACE UP LYING DOWN AND START PUSHING TO A DEPTH OF AT LEAST 5 CM AT A RATE OF AT LEAST 100 COMPRESSIONS PER MIN. OCCASSIONALLY INTERRUPT TO RAISE THE CHIN, COVER THE PERSON’S MOUTH WITH YOURS AND BLOW AIR INTO THE MOUTH. Do this until u get to hospital.
EPISODE 31
TYPHOID FEVER
Typhoid fever is an infection caused by salmonella typhi.
The proliferation of this disease has become unprecedented in recent times and its management alone now gulps almost half of individual and corporate health budget and has dangerously increased the abuse of antibiotics by our people.
Typhoid bacteria are shed in the faeces and urine of infected people. Inadequate hand washing after defecation or urination may spread the bacteria to food or water supplies. Flies may spread the bacteria directly from faeces to food. About 3% of people who are infected with the bacteria and never got treated plus many who are not adequately treated for the disease may be shedding the bacteria in their stool for over a year without presenting with symptoms.
Check the source of your water, and if not trusted, boil it or use waterguard. Stop buying food from bukas near open gutters, toilets or overflowing suckaways. In using the toilets in your home or offices try to keep some disinfectant or methylated spirit handy to clean the toilet seat and drop some into the toilet in case of any splash on your body. Stop jumping into buying antibiotics each time you have a fever with the unproved conclusion that you have typhoid fever. One; you may not even have the disease and will be weakening your system by taking an antibiotic that you don’t need; you are not likely to buy the right or adequate medication even if you have it. And if you taking adequate treatment from the right place, complement your hospital treatment by taking apples, garlic, thyme tea, lemon and Echinacea prep. They all have antibacterial effects and stimulate detoxification of the liver and kidney.
Episode 32
ARTHRTIC AND GOUTY PAIN
Usually a chronic effect and so the long use pain killers tend to overwhelm the body. TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE ARTHRITIC OR GOUTY PAIN, the goal should be:
1. To strengthen the bones,
2. Repair damaged joint tissues
3. Increase immune system against bacteria and viruses
4. Reduce pain.
Use calcium plus vitamin D and other mineral supplements, use glucosamine plus omega 3 and Rosehip to repair damaged tissues; do some aerobic exercises and drink lemon juice to strengthen and detoxify the joints, Use antioxidants( fruits and vegetables) to boost immune system; use noni juice, mistletoe tea to complement the pain killers and nourish the joint tissues and apply ointments that have shea butter and beeswax plus some kind of heat to increase blood circulation in the area.
EPISODE 33
KIDNEY PROBLEMS
Kidney problems are as varied as there are different approaches to managing them. Too much medications, genetic problems, chronic diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes and a host of other factors may all affect the kidney negatively. And so an unusual pain in your back flank, swollen legs or face and or blood in your urine calls for an urgent visit to your doctor. The tips we give hear are for those whose cases are already being well managed in the hospital or who have had a kidney problem in the past.
Pure cocoa drink as a regular beverage is good for the kidney because it has diuretic and renal anti-inflammatory effects.
Pumpkin fruit (flesh) has same effect cocoa
Borage leaves increases urine production and aids in the elimination of urea and uric acid,
Corn Styles- the spongy hair- are rich in potassium and flavonoids, which give them diuretic properties; they also contain alantoine, which makes them sedative and anti-inflammatory; and tannins and steroids. Because this diuretic and depurative properties are intense and well tolerated, and does not produce any imbalance in the electrolyte of the blood they are a welcome complement to kidney inflammation, urinary bladder inflammation, gout, arthritis and edema(swollen legs).
To prepare the infusion of corn styles, immerse 30g of styles in a liter of hot water for say 15mins and drink up to 3-5cups a day in the morning and afternoon. Due to strong diuresis, don’t use in prostrate hypertrophy.
EPISODE 34
SMOKING AND BODY EFFECT
Cigarettes are filled with poison that goes into the lungs when you inhale. Coughing, dizziness, and burning of the eyes, nose, and throat are early signs that smoking is harming you. Smoking increases your health risks if you have diabetes, high blood pressure, or high blood cholesterol. The long-term problems of smoking cigarettes are the following:
•Cancer: Smoking increases your chances of getting cancer. Cigarette smoking may play a role in developing many kinds of cancer. Lung cancer is the most common kind of cancer caused by smoking. A smoker is at greater risk of getting cancer of the lips, mouth, throat, or voice box. Smokers also have a higher risk of getting esophagus, stomach, kidney, pancreas, cervix, bladder, and skin cancer.
•Heart and blood vessel disease: ◦If you already have heart or blood vessel problems and smoke, you are at even greater risk of having continued or worse health problems. The nicotine in the tobacco causes an increase in your heart rate and blood pressure. The arteries (blood vessels) in your arms and legs tighten and narrow because of the nicotine in cigarette smoke. Cigarette smoke increases blood clotting, and may damage the lining of your heart's arteries and other blood vessels. Carbon monoxide is a harmful gas that gets into the blood and decreases oxygen going to the heart and the body. Cigarette smoke contains this gas. Hardening of the arteries happens more often in smokers than in nonsmokers. This may make it more likely for you to have a stroke (blood clot in your brain). The more cigarettes you smoke, the greater your risk of a heart attack.
•Lung disease: The younger you are when you start smoking, the greater your risk of getting lung diseases. Many smokers have a cough which is caused by the chemicals in smoke. These chemicals harm the cilia (tiny hairs) that line the lungs and help remove dirt and waste products. Depending upon how much you smoke, your lungs become gray and "dirty" (they look like charcoal). Healthy lungs are pink.
◦Chronic bronchitis is a serious lung infection which is often caused by smoking. Emphysema is a long-term lung disease that may be caused by smoking cigarettes. Cigarette smoking also makes asthma worse. You are at a higher risk of getting colds, pneumonia, and other lung infections if you smoke.
Gastrointestinal disease: Cigarette smoking increases the amount of acid that is made by your stomach, and may cause a peptic ulcer. A peptic ulcer is an open sore in the stomach or duodenum (part of the intestine). You may also get gastroesophageal reflux from smoking. This is when you have a backflow of stomach acid into your esophagus (food tube).
•Other problems: The following are other problems that smoking may cause:
◦Bad breath.
Bad smell in your clothes, hair, and skin.
Decreased ability to play sports or do physical activities because of breathing problems.
◦Earlier than normal wrinkling of the skin, usually the face.
◦Higher risk of bone fractures, such as hip, wrist, or spine.
◦Higher risk of starting a fire. This may happen if you fall asleep with a lit cigarette.
◦Men may have problems having an erection.
Sleeping problems.
◦Smoking is an expensive (costly) habit. You will save money if you choose to stop smoking.
◦Sore throat.
◦Staining of teeth.
•Women and smoking: You may have a higher risk of having a heart attack or stroke if you smoke and use birth control pills. This risk is more serious if you are 35 years or older. The risk of losing your unborn baby or having a stillborn baby is higher if you are pregnant and smoke. Babies born to smoking mothers often weigh less, and are at a higher risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). You may have a harder time getting pregnant if you are a smoker. Women who smoke may have a higher risk of osteoporosis (also known as "brittle bones"). Women who smoke also have a higher risk of incontinence, which is when you are unable to control when you urinate.
Pipes and Cigars- the risks are the same for people who smoke cigars or pipes as they are for cigarette smokers. There is a risk of getting cancer of the mouth, lip, larynx (voice box), or esophagus if you smoke a cigar or pipe
Snuff : People who use snuff or chewing tobacco have an increased risk of getting mouth or throat cancer. The risk of heart disease, stroke, blood vessel disease and stomach problems is the same as it is for cigarette smokers.
Passive smoking
Tobacco smoke is dangerous to others. The effect that smoking has on nonsmokers is called "passive smoking". Nonsmokers who breathe tobacco smoke have the same health risks as smokers. Children who are around tobacco smoke may have more colds, ear infections, or other breathing problems.
Why quit smoking?
The benefits from quitting smoking happen right away. Your sense of taste and smell will improve. Your body, clothes, car, and home will not smell of tobacco smoke. Your chance of getting cancer will be reduced as compared to a person who does not quit. As a former smoker, you will live longer than people who continue to smoke. Women who quit smoking before getting pregnant have a better chance of having a healthy baby. You will decrease the health risks of nonsmokers if you stop smoking. By stopping smoking you will also save money.
How to quit?
◦Thinking about quitting.
◦Decide to quit on a certain day.
◦Actually quit.
Avoid people and places that stimulate you to smoke in the meantime
Order quit ‘’smoking aids’’ aids such as NICOBLOCK or write mayohai@yahoo.com
•Call or write the following for more information about the risks of smoking. www.◦Smokefree.gov
EPISODE 35
SMOKING AND DEVELOPMENTAL HEALTH
CIGARETTE SMOKING
1. Reduction in birth weight and are shorter.
2. Placental complications
3. Premature rupture of membrane
4. Preterm labour
5. Uterine infections
Birth defects of the heart, brain and face are more common in babies of smoking mothers
Acti on: thought to be caused by carbon monoxide, and may reduce oxygen supply to the body’s tissues and nicotine and stimulate the release of hormones that construct the vessels supplying blood to the placenta and uterus.
Cocaine also constructs blood flow to the fetus, reduced growth, skeletal defects, abnormalyy narrow sects of stomach, hyperactivity and uncontrolled trembling in toddlers.
EPISODE 36
ALCOHOL AND FETAL EFFECT
Fetal alcohol syndrome include growth retardation before or after birth, facial defects, a small head (microcephaly) probably caused by subnormal brain growth, and abnormal behavioural development.
Mental retardation occurs more often from fetal alcohol syndrome than any other source.
Also miscarriages, anti-social behaviour and attention deficit in the child. Low birth weight (1/2 half).
EPISODE 36
DRUG USE DURING PREGNANCY
Drug use can affect the foetus in several ways
By acting directly on the foetus, causing damage, abdominal development or death.
By altering the function of the placenta, usually by constricting blood vessels and reducing the exchange of oxygen and nutrients between the foetus and the mother.
By causing the muscles of the uterus to constrict forcefully, indirectly, injuring the foetus by reducing its blood supply
17th-57th day after fertilization – period of organ development.
Sex hormones like synthetic oestrogen, can cause vaginal cancer in adolescent girls whose mothers took this drug during pregnancy. These girls may later suffer from abnormal uterine cavity, menstrual problems, weakened cervix and higher risk of having ectopic pregnancies. Boys who were exposed as foetus may have penis abnormalities.
Tetracycline: cross the placenta and are stored in fetal bone and teeth – where they combine with calcium. As a result, bone growth may be slow, baby’s teeth may be permanently yellow and the teeth enamel may be soft and susceptible to cavities.
Streptomycin may damage the fetus inner ear possibly leading to deafness. Chloramphenicol may cause some problems in the new-born. Ciprofloxacin cause joint abnormalities in animals. Most sulphonamides may lead to jaundice – brain damage.
EPISODE 37
DEVELOPMENT -----THE CRITICAL YEARS—1 TO 10
THE CRISIS YEARS --- TEENS
(tree of effe ctive parenting)
Challenges
FORMER NOW
1. Fear and reverence for parents and elders. 1. Children now bolder, less respectful and parents more persuasive.
2. Gro w up slowly with warm environment and less challenging outside influence. 2. Grow fast, thinks quickly, have access to other climax via the media and have constant challenge on what is being taught at home.
3. Less status competition, less media bombardment and more adult support. 3. Stiff competition, media bombardment, individualistic families, drugs, premarital sex, alcohol smoking.
Episode 38
PAENTING DURING THE CRITICAL YEARS
1. Love unconditionally and don’t show favouritism.
2. Don’t be a laisser-faire parent.
3. Begin early to disabuse the minds of external influences.
4. Imperative to teach decision-making skills. To be able to say NO when everyone is saying YES and stick to it.
5. Love them enough to let them learn.
6. Allow significant learning opportunities by letting them face consequences of decisions.
7. Be their model.
8. Let go and allow SLOs.
9. Self-esteem comes from accomplishments.
10. If you are happy, they are; if you forgive, they learn to.
Self-concept is acquired from childhood and if poor – leads to self-loathing, bullying, arguments with teachers and peers, hatred.
Better to build on positive self-concepts and attributes rather than always highlighting mistakes or set-backs.
Parents should cuddle their children in love because the denial of such affectionate gesture have been shown to stunt even the brain development of the children.But don't hover around the children so much as not to allow a breathing space.
Drill sergeants are so bossy that the children are immune from thinking for themselves.
- Mistakes/failure means severe punishment.
Laisser-faire parent don’t give a damn about anything and expect the children to run the home.
The consultant parents – they give thoughtful guidelines and firm, enforceable limits.
Child teenagers abstract thinkers.
GOOD PARENTS ask questions, enlighten about possible consequences of available options and allow children to make the choices.
God gives us choices knowing that free will may lead to failure. But in failure, we learn.
EPISODE 39
BEDWETTING
Bedwetting (nocturnal enuresis) is accidental, repeated urination by a sleeping child who is old enough to be expected not to wet the bed.
About 30% of children still wet the bed at age 4 years, 10 percent at age 6, 3 percent at age 12, and a 1 percent at age 18. Bed-wetting is more common in boys than in girls and seems to run in families. Bed-wetting is usually caused by slow maturation, although it sometimes accompanies such sleep disorders as sleepwalking and night terrors. A physical disorder- usually a urinary tract infection- is found in only 1 to 2 percent of cases. In rare cases, other disorders, such as diabetes, may cause a child to wet the bed.Bed-wetting occasionally is caused by psychiatric problems, either in the child or in another family member.
Sometimes bed-wetting stops and then begins again. The relapse usually follows a psychologically stressful event or condition, but a physical cause, such as a urinary tract infection, may be responsible.
Behaviour Therapy for Bed-wetting
Child’s responsibilities
Keep a calendar to record wet and dry nights
Refrain from drinking any fluids for 2 to 3 hours before going to bed
Urinate before going to bed
Change clothing and bedding when wet
Parents’ responsibilities
Do not punish child for bed-wetting or get angry when bed-wetting occurs.
Give praise and rewards (a star on the calendar or other rewards, depending on child’s age) for dry nights.
Take the child to rule out any possible underlying medical condition.
EPISODE 40
EPISODE 40
EFFECT OF NEGLECT/ABUSE ON CHILDREN
Neglect due to separation/divorce, job demand or death can intoxicate the body as much as other physical toxins like the smoking we’ve been talking about.
Divorce diverts the attention of adults away from children and focuses on their painful experiences. And this privation is more critical during the first two years of life for the boy child because of tis psychological and neurological effects.
This is because the brain is a dynamic and interactive organ that requires stimulation from the outside world to develop well. And so when mistreated or shuffled from one caregiver to another, terrible losses occur in thinking capacity.
Researches have shown that most violent kids have increased male hormone (testosterone) and more enlarged amygdala, areas of the brain responsible for risk taking and violent acts.
And research at Harvard on college students 91% of those who lacked parental bonding developed CHD, HB, ulcers, alcoholism e.t.c at midlife compared to 45% in those that grow normally.
1ST TIP
You have the power within you and the grace of God to reclaim your life from whatever has been eating you up. If you want us to talk about it, write us at askmay@yahoo.com or call the number on your screen and it shall be well with you.
Bye now.
EPISODE 41
SOCIAL EFFECT OF depravity on children
We have highlighted the fact that chronic neglect, abuse or shuffling hurt children badly during their developmental age and increases the tendency to violence, anti-social behaviours and Godlessness.
Recommendations
Let us reclaim our extended family values. Economy might be biting a bit hard on us but money cannot buy love. Better a home with scanty luxury but plenty love than one with plenty luxury and constant strife. Besides parental love and character formation have a critical time frame which you cannot reclaim if the time passes by.
I co-ordinate a spectrum of widows and orphans from different strata of social level and I can tell you that nothing as yet, can replace quality time and care given to a needy relative or neighbour. In short, there is no prosthesis for a broken heart.
1. All social media, extended family units churches, mosques, courts, police should be encouraged to participate in reducing the level of family disintegration. Old values of being our brothers’ keepers should be re-enforced.
2. Schools need to integrate family values, emotional healthiness and character moulding as core subjects in their curriculum instead of leaving it for NGOs.
3. Children who are hyperactive or who are detached, uninterested and miserable need to be properly counselled, loved, encouraged and fed with meals and supplements that sedate nerves and improve memory such oats, ginseng, thymes etc. Banana is rich in tryptophan and is a precursor for building the pacifier hormone – serotonin.
4. Those who are matured and now indulge in violent acts – should be arrested (to secure the society) but should be camped in an institution properly equipped for counselling, brain-monitoring and other forms of psychotherapeutic processes. Because it is only when you know truly what moves them that you can help them, help the society and prevent or reduce the causative factors of their anti-social behaviours. Anti-stress supplements such as ………….. should be.
5. Street boys and girls and even those who have turned to adult miscreants should all be picked up and institutionalised. The houses should be homely and social experts such as trained psychologists, health experts, qualitative religious institutions should be employed to try and heal these people, refocus them and position them for a normal life in the society.
TIPS
If you suffered so much in your childhood, don’t keep blaming your past and the people who neglected you. Determine to rise above your impediments and the Almighty who says he is the father of the fatherless & husband of the widows will show what he can do. Keep in the right path and write me if you still need to talk.
Episode 42
PUBERTY GIRLS---I
Puberty is a transitional period from childhood to adulthood during which physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and other changes take place and is usually between 10- 19 years of age.
SIGNS: Breasts shoot out, Growth rate is about 4inches/year, spurt of female hormones, there is menstruation or menarche, oily and pimply faces, mood swings.
Fat begins to deposit on the hips to give the typical female feature and the girl becomes more self-conscious. Internally, hormone interplay give rise to menstruation and ovulation and this means the girl’s reproductive organ can now conceive a baby, house it and nurture it to birth.
At this stage any who indulges in sex with the opposite sex may get pregnant. But if intercourse does not happen, the prepare uterus disintegrates and gets washed off with blood in a process called menstruation and this goes to midlife when the hormones get so low that menstruation ceases and the woman is said to go into menopause.
NOW ALL THESE PROCESSES TAKE PLACE IN A REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN HOUSED IN A BONE CAVITY CALLED THE SACRAL BONE. SACRAL IS FROM THE WORD SACRED indicating that what happens in that organ is sacred.
Reflect on this sacred process that goes on in every woman and send me your comments/questions to askmay@yahoo.com
EPISODE 44
PUBERTY GIRLS II
In the last episode we arrived at the fact that reproduction happens in a sacred enclosure indicating that the act of intercourse and childbearing are acts that should be kept sacred. But what do we have?
It is now fashionable to defy Divine order and yet w lament about proliferation of sicknesses like HIV/AIDS, VVF, CERVICAL CANCER spread by human papilloma virus, herpes simplex and other STIs. Also issues like abortions, unwanted pregnancies, premature termination of education, broken dreams and unplanned/unwanted marriages continue to plague us and we don’t want to take the root cause of the problems seriously.
If you miss your period when you know you had intercourse with a boy in recent times, you are most likely pregnant and the baby in your womb is already 2weeks old. On examination when scanned the baby may look like a clot of blood but it is already throbbing in movement as it breathes. THE BREADTH OF GOD IS ALREADY IN THAT CHILD AND ANYTHING YOU DO TO FLUSH OUT THE BABY IS MURDER.
It is bad enough to violate the sacred housing but the evil should not be multiplied by commiting murder. Many women who flushed out their babies are regretting the act even 40 years afterwards.
Confide in your parents or trusted relatives; they may rebuke you but they should relent and help you handle the situation. You may have to be relocated to live with other relations until the baby is born, then you must go back to school and be determined to stay off intimate relationships that may land you in another trouble. Don’t jump into marrying someone you don’t want to live with cos that may condemn you to a life of misery; don’t be in a hurry to give up your baby for adoption- some who did are mourning the loss of their baby for life.
EPISODE 44
PUBERTY –BOYS
SIGNS: Voice grows deeper, Growth is about 4in/year, testosterone surge, hair in chest, pubic area and chin. Some have pimples on their faces.
Teenage, when puberty happens is the age the male hormone multiply most creating those physical changes and also making the youths want to take risky ventures- including unreasonable ones like driving excessively on the road, fighting to exhibit strength and approaching the opposite sex for friendship as the emotions run soar. They are natural.
But then that’s when character is supposed to be firmly established as the values we were taught as children begin to take root and emotions begin to be trained to be subdued. A wild teenager will display a loose character by displaying all his emotions like shouting at his peers and even elders when provoked, insist on fulfilling all emotional cravings when heated up, and joining all kinds of associations to prove that he is macho. While a real youth will concentrate on learning how to be a real gentleman by taming his emotions, listening to wise counsel so that reason is elevated above passion and studying to expand his brain capacity and be truly educated. This is called EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
- You must learn to wait for things you want in life;
- You must learn to decipher what is good and bad and say emphatic NO to the bad ones irrespective of what everyone else is saying;
- You must begin to dream about your future—your career, your vocation, your role in the society and what you will like to be remembered for. What kind of home would you like to build and with what kind of woman? What and what must you do or avoid to make sure these dreams become realities in your life?
- I WILL LIKE TO SHARE YOUR DREAMS SO FEEL FREE TO WRITE VIA SMS OR MY E-MAIL and rem to check blog site,
Loss of Muscle Mass Strength plus Osteoporosis
Osteoporosis is the progressive decline in the density of bones that worsens as the sex hormones and nutrients of the bones diminishes in the body. If the male hormone is used in building protein which is the ingredient in building body tissue, and if it is used in the production of blood cells in the bone marrow, then of course it will affect muscle mass and strength. To maintain bone density, the body requires an adequate supply of calcium and other minerals and must produce the proper amounts of hormones such as parathyroid hormone, growth hormone, calcitonin, oestrogen in women and testosterone in men. Also an adequate amount of vitamin D is required to absorb calcium from food and incorporate it into the bones. If the mineral content of bones is not well regulated by the body, the bones become less dense and more fragile resulting in osteoporosis. The thinning of bones is exacerbated by smoking, too much consumption of alcohol, the use of steroids, inadequate intake of calcium and sedentary life style.
During menopause and andropause, three to five percent of bones is lost each year and this results in minor injuries causing fractures of the vertebrae, hips and wrist bones.
The best way to slow down this degeneration is do regular weight bearing exercises such as climbing stairs and lifting objects that are quite weighty but not too heavy as to course some strains in the body. Mid lifers must learn to bend at the knee to carry weights and not at the hips to minimize the risk of slipped disc.
Anaerobic exercises such as strength training causes the body to secrete a human growth hormone which is a precursor to building bone cells while aerobic exercises increase insulin and glucagon level which are used to produce glucose and hence the energy level of the muscles. Glucagon expands blood vessels thereby increasing the nutrient and oxygen bearing blood to muscle tissues and bearing away lactic acid when leaving.
Calcium and other vitamins and mineral supplement should be taken regularly at this stage to strengthen the weakened bones.
Women will do well to take other supplements that produce hormone substances (phytoestrogens) such as bitter leaf (vernonia amygdalina), soybean. evening primrose oil, to boost the lowered hormone effect of the body.
For the men, they will have to avoid taking much of those phytoestrogen-producing plants because, their effect like the oestrogen they mimic, antagonize the effect of the male hormone-testosterone, thereby worsening their own symptoms.
EPISODE 21 AND 22
TIPS ON CANCER
Most of the health problems we are talking about here are due to deficiency in the male or female hormones. And we always advise that you do not jump into replacement as a solution because those substitutes are synthetic; they are not natural and so may elicit some reactions that can lead to cancer.
Now we all know cancer is not a diagnosis we want to hear if we get to a hospital but what if it happens? Well, for those who already have it, it is not necessarily a license for quick death particularly if identified early. Women should always report any unusual lump in the breast to the hospital and ask for the lump to be removed even if it is not cancerous. If you have occasional blood spots in the private part when you are not in your period, pls go for screening for cervical cancer. And the men should go for a PSA test (Prostrate Specific Antigen) test to check the status of their prostrate. (more of this when we discuss about our prostrate).
BUT IF it happens to be there, pls make sure you are being managed by cancer specialists who are abreast with the latest technology in treating cancer. Do not waste time with quacks or concentrate on prayer houses when you can combine medications with prayers.
TIPS
• Reduce proteinous food especially red meat that can increase the multiplication of your cells
• Take mistletoe especially the ones harvested from Guava leaves. I gave mistletoe and noni juice to somebody who was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer and out of 10 of them in her group, she was the only one that didn’t lose her hair. And the extreme weakness she used to feel vanished so much that she could combine the therapy with her studies which she had stopped due the procedure.
• Carrot has carotene (provitamin A) which has very high antioxidant and anticancerous activity. A glass of carrot juice made by blending say, 3medium-sized carrot with a glass of water ands be taken every two hours is a good adjunct to cancer treatment.
• Cabbage has similar effect as carrot and can be similarly prepared.
• Garlic eaten raw or boiled and the decoction taken is another good help in managing cancer and many other diseases.
• Spanish grapes is a must for cancer if readily available.
• Echinacea roots boiled and taken frequently, has significant antitumor activity because it increases leukocytes in the body and helps the patient to go through radiation and chemotherapy.
By and large, let anyone identified with cancer avoid much foods that builds cells like proteins because to increase the multiplication of the cancer cells as well. Rather, concentrate on the above listed vegetables and fruits; you can blend carrots and cabbage with garlic together and take them sumptuously, say, every two hours and take the grapes and noni juice in between the vegetables. These juices can even become main meals completely for up to 6-8 weeks before resumption of other meals in small quantity.
As you do this, develop a positive attitude to the situation and pray hard to the almighty through Jesus, pleading the merits of His passion for your healing and raising the standard of your faith over the negative aura of the cancer. I want to state categorically here that cancer is not such a huge monster that we tend to make of it; it is so limited:
a) It cannot cripple love
b) It cannot shatter hope
c) It cannot corrode faith
d) It cannot eat away peace
e) It cannot destroy confidence
f) It cannot kill friendship
g) It cannot shut out memories
h) It cannot silence courage
i) It cannot invade the soul
j) It cannot reduce eternal life
k) It cannot quench the spirit
l) It cannot lessen the power of resurrection
Your will-power and faith will actually determine the extent cancer or anything for that matter can harm your core being.
EPISODE 23
PROSTRATE ALERT
If every woman must go through menopause and hence have some of the above treated symptoms in varying degrees, at least 80% of men over the age of 40years will notice that their prostrate is not as healthy as it is ought to be if they check it up unless they have been doing something about it from their young age.
The prostate gland lies just under the bladder in the pelvis and surrounds the middle portion of the urethra. Usually, the size of a walnut, this gland enlarges with age, which means that, with age, it narrows the urethra. In time, this could obstruct the flow of the urine and as a result, the muscles of the bladder grow larger and stronger to push urine through.
Due to this somewhat rigidity, the bladder may not empty completely when the patient urinates, making him susceptible to stone formation. Prolonged obstruction can cause damage to the kidneys.
As I said sometime before, every man from the age of 40 and above should try and perform the Prostrate Specific Antigen (PSA) test which can detect any trace of cancer early. But in the mean time, all men should befriend Pumpkin seeds and Saw palmetto, Green tea, Omega 3 fish oil and cruciferous vegetables.
Lemon juice and even the decoction of lemon rinds(boiling in water to extract the minerals) help tremendously with kidney stones and toxic accumulation in the joints and prostate by alkalinizing the entire body thereby dissolving deposited acids. In addition it has some citrates especially, potassium citrate which help to clear deposits in the unwanted sites.
EPISODE 24
WIDOWHOOD
With the drop in life expectancy in the developing world due to stress, inadequate medical care and poverty, loss of spouse seem to be a common feature of the middle age rather than old age. I co-ordinate a faith-based widows’ group spread out over many parishes and tribes in this country called (women of divine group) and I can tell you that the age range of members is between 35 – 60 years of age. And that’s the midlife range. This qualifies widowhood as a midlife challenge.
Problems of young widows in the African setting range from fear of the future, poverty, because most couples here live below the middle income, seizure of property (coveting of rights), abandonment by relatives, leading to loneliness, social insecurity, vulnerability to sexual abuse and immorality regarding sexual matters and difficulties in single parenting.
Fear for the future
A woman in her thirties to fifties who loses her husband to death is confronted with the fear for her future life and old age. She naturally goes through the grieving stages of shock, disbelief, realization and fear. Some fear that their partners may come for them especially if they were very close before separation but most others fear for a lonely old age. And because of this, they stubbornly clutch at the dead spouse emotionally and psychologically and spend time and energy that should have been used in facing reality into grieving, self-pity and anger.
Steps for recovery
1) Parting must come at a time we have no control over. We can only pray and hope for a long life but we must still allow God to be God in our lives.
2) Release spouse to his rest
3) Remember that the children are looking up to you for strength and your dead spouse is trusting that you will be there for them. So put yourself together and adjust the family’s lifestyle to suit your present income. Confide your plans and reasons to your children so that they can co-operate with you.
4) Then don’t cross any bridge before you get there. Concern on surviving each day and TRUST GOD to provide for tomorrow.
REM: In a very big storm, big trees may be pulled down but the fragile flowers at the base of the trees are left untouched when the storm is over. God seems to be more interested in preserving the weak and fragile. You will make it.
EPISODE 25
WIDOWHOOD – SENSITIVITY AND GREED
In our numerous for a, at least 80% of widows and abandoned mothers will tell you that the siblings of their husbands were more interested in carting away the property and money than the welfare of the family their late brother left behind. Some women have gone home for burial only to come back to a flat vandalized by in-laws trying to get their own share of their brother’s goodies irrespective of whether the man and his wife worked for those things together. Others are immediately thrown out or given a quit notice of they are living in a shared compound with an in-law; they do not want the woman and the children to get the impression that they are part-owners of the house. And the stories can go on.
On the other hand, some women try to disregard or push aside all late husband’s siblings as if they are not also grieving and missing whatever contribution the man was making to the big family when he was alive, especially if the dead was well enough and concerned enough to be catering for everyone in the family.
However the case may be, we have to try and appreciate one thing; fraternity or brotherly love in the bigger family or kindred is one cultural value that Africans still have in abundance and which we must all try to maintain, reclaim and even export. Given that civilization, adventure and quest for knowledge is scattering us abroad, we should all do whatever it takes to keep in touch with home, care for the family members enough to continuously forgive their failings and help however we can.
A widow who has children for a family should be helped to bring up those children because they belong there and not to her maiden family. And there’s hardly anyone who will not pay back love with love at the appropriate time. You cannot claim to love your brother and make him weep in the grave by ill-treating his family. And a woman who has the means should not neglect her mother-in-law whom her husband was catering for before his demise.
In short, let’s always put ourselves in our neighbor’s shoes and show practical love. And we see that the hand that gives is always on top.
EPISODE 26
WIDOWHOOD AND SOCIAL ADJUSTMENT
Women who are mostly hit by widowhood are those who have not learned early in life to adapt to different life situations, who were over pampered and thought everyone should be at their beck and call and those who have failed to face reality.
As a maiden in her father’s house, a woman has her parent’s protection, as a wife she has her husband’s protection, but as a widow, particularly a young one, she finds herself apparently alone. The kids may be too young for her to confide her fears and experiences too and even when assaulted our societal security system often does not give adequate protection to our women except if she poses extra-hard for justice.
So what to do?
Everywoman who finds herself alone due to loss of spouse should try to live for today and not continue to lament about yesterday. Life may have been more comfortable when her husband was alive; her friends may have been many when her husband was alive; her children may have been attending the best school and so on. But now the story is probably different. She should accept it and find ways to move on.
If the woman’s income will not sustain the family’s living standard and projections, she should confide her plans to the children and then stir the lifestyle to the level she can sustain in such a way that the children do not feel that their world is cracking. Anyone in any status of life can still achieve his dreams if there are planned goals, dedication and trust in divine providence.
Again she not place her hope on any living person; trusted family friends, thoughtful relations and church members can be of immense help she should see those helps/interventions as pleasant surprises rather than fulfillment of expectations. If not, she will increase her vulnerability to Greek gifts and to disappointments.
SAFETY LINES
1. Face reality
2. Confide in your children and impart confidence in them
3. Join healthy support groups and make friends with those who have experienced similar traumas in life and managed them well
4. Work hard but know when to rest
5. Have unshakable trust in God
6. Try to always be calm and happy even in the midst of the storm
EPISODE 27
Detoxifying the body
Much must have been ingested during the holidays in the spirit of celebration that are not exactly beneficial to bodly such as too much alcohol, too much oil and fatty food, red meat, smoking, eating late in the night at paries and so on.
Detoxification—LEMON JUICE THERAPY
Another way of cleansing the blood is by embarking on fruit fast.
Some people use one fruit like pawpaw all through the day and maybe end the day with a light vegetable soup prepared with very little oil( or non at all) and some fish. Alternatively, you can use a mixture of carrot and cabbage blended with clean water. A tablespoon of honey may be added to each message. Here, the fruit juice should be prepared as at when needed since the one prepared and stored for further use tend to lose some of the necessary constituents like vitamin A.
After a week or so of this cleansing, normal feeding may be gradually re-introduced into the daily diet, still starting the day with 3to 4 cups of water, eating a balanced diet at each meal but making sure that dinner is not taken beyond 7.30pm and red meat and raw sugar are reduced to the minimum, if not completely done away with.
You can’t be serious about detoxifying the body without stopping the habits that toxify the system such as smoking, much alcohol, much bad oil, raw sugar and general irresponsible life style.
EPISODE 29
MISTLE TOE AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO LEMON JUICE
Apart from the various health benefits of mistletoe which include blood pressure balancing, positive effect on the pancreas thereby helping diabetics and increasing immunity, the plant also alkalinizes the body thereby neutralizing acid deposits in the joints and organs and making more functional. When the deposits in the kidneys and liver are washed away, they can filter more and function better. And when the joints are rid of acid deposits and urea, the joints become more flexible and pain will be reduced.
EPISODE 30
SUDDEN CARDIAC ARREST
I had to come back to this topic because it is increasingly turning to a pandemic in our society and we are certainly not doing enough to confront the menace.
Stroke (also called cerebrovascular accident) is the death of brain tissue resulting from lack of blood flow and insufficient oxygen to the brain. Toxins in the blood which include bad cholesterol, deposits from smoking and excessive intake of alcohol, and others might clog the arteries supplying blood to the brain, thereby starving the brain of sufficient blood with its nutrients and oxygen. Or again, infections or too much accumulation of acidic metabolites of red meat and other foods( esp artificial drinks) may attack the blood vessels resulting in their rupture and so diverts blood that should go to the brain and soon causes stroke.
Strange feelings like dizziness, sharp and unusual pain in the heart or swelling in the brain should send anyone to a good hospital for thorough investigation but most strokes begin suddenly, develop rapidly and cause damage within minutes. Most victims lose consciousness within seconds and that I keep saying that if you notice these symptoms start coughing deeply and vigorously to activate a stopping heart and pump more blood and oxygen through.
It is time ministry of health begin to enforce the acquisition of AUTOMATED EXTERNAL DEFRIBILLATORS in all hospitals and medical centers, large work places and religious places and training the general public on their uses and in the proper way to administer CARDIOPULMONARY RESURSCITATION(CPR).
In the meantime, if someone slumps in your presence, send for a vehicle or ambulance to convey to the hospital, quickly look for a tablet of aspirin and place under the tongue, the begin CPR:
LET THE PERSON FACE UP LYING DOWN AND START PUSHING TO A DEPTH OF AT LEAST 5 CM AT A RATE OF AT LEAST 100 COMPRESSIONS PER MIN. OCCASSIONALLY INTERRUPT TO RAISE THE CHIN, COVER THE PERSON’S MOUTH WITH YOURS AND BLOW AIR INTO THE MOUTH. Do this until u get to hospital.
EPISODE 31
TYPHOID FEVER
Typhoid fever is an infection caused by salmonella typhi.
The proliferation of this disease has become unprecedented in recent times and its management alone now gulps almost half of individual and corporate health budget and has dangerously increased the abuse of antibiotics by our people.
Typhoid bacteria are shed in the faeces and urine of infected people. Inadequate hand washing after defecation or urination may spread the bacteria to food or water supplies. Flies may spread the bacteria directly from faeces to food. About 3% of people who are infected with the bacteria and never got treated plus many who are not adequately treated for the disease may be shedding the bacteria in their stool for over a year without presenting with symptoms.
Check the source of your water, and if not trusted, boil it or use waterguard. Stop buying food from bukas near open gutters, toilets or overflowing suckaways. In using the toilets in your home or offices try to keep some disinfectant or methylated spirit handy to clean the toilet seat and drop some into the toilet in case of any splash on your body. Stop jumping into buying antibiotics each time you have a fever with the unproved conclusion that you have typhoid fever. One; you may not even have the disease and will be weakening your system by taking an antibiotic that you don’t need; you are not likely to buy the right or adequate medication even if you have it. And if you taking adequate treatment from the right place, complement your hospital treatment by taking apples, garlic, thyme tea, lemon and Echinacea prep. They all have antibacterial effects and stimulate detoxification of the liver and kidney.
Episode 32
ARTHRTIC AND GOUTY PAIN
Usually a chronic effect and so the long use pain killers tend to overwhelm the body. TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE ARTHRITIC OR GOUTY PAIN, the goal should be:
1. To strengthen the bones,
2. Repair damaged joint tissues
3. Increase immune system against bacteria and viruses
4. Reduce pain.
Use calcium plus vitamin D and other mineral supplements, use glucosamine plus omega 3 and Rosehip to repair damaged tissues; do some aerobic exercises and drink lemon juice to strengthen and detoxify the joints, Use antioxidants( fruits and vegetables) to boost immune system; use noni juice, mistletoe tea to complement the pain killers and nourish the joint tissues and apply ointments that have shea butter and beeswax plus some kind of heat to increase blood circulation in the area.
EPISODE 33
KIDNEY PROBLEMS
Kidney problems are as varied as there are different approaches to managing them. Too much medications, genetic problems, chronic diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes and a host of other factors may all affect the kidney negatively. And so an unusual pain in your back flank, swollen legs or face and or blood in your urine calls for an urgent visit to your doctor. The tips we give hear are for those whose cases are already being well managed in the hospital or who have had a kidney problem in the past.
Pure cocoa drink as a regular beverage is good for the kidney because it has diuretic and renal anti-inflammatory effects.
Pumpkin fruit (flesh) has same effect cocoa
Borage leaves increases urine production and aids in the elimination of urea and uric acid,
Corn Styles- the spongy hair- are rich in potassium and flavonoids, which give them diuretic properties; they also contain alantoine, which makes them sedative and anti-inflammatory; and tannins and steroids. Because this diuretic and depurative properties are intense and well tolerated, and does not produce any imbalance in the electrolyte of the blood they are a welcome complement to kidney inflammation, urinary bladder inflammation, gout, arthritis and edema(swollen legs).
To prepare the infusion of corn styles, immerse 30g of styles in a liter of hot water for say 15mins and drink up to 3-5cups a day in the morning and afternoon. Due to strong diuresis, don’t use in prostrate hypertrophy.
EPISODE 34
SMOKING AND BODY EFFECT
Cigarettes are filled with poison that goes into the lungs when you inhale. Coughing, dizziness, and burning of the eyes, nose, and throat are early signs that smoking is harming you. Smoking increases your health risks if you have diabetes, high blood pressure, or high blood cholesterol. The long-term problems of smoking cigarettes are the following:
•Cancer: Smoking increases your chances of getting cancer. Cigarette smoking may play a role in developing many kinds of cancer. Lung cancer is the most common kind of cancer caused by smoking. A smoker is at greater risk of getting cancer of the lips, mouth, throat, or voice box. Smokers also have a higher risk of getting esophagus, stomach, kidney, pancreas, cervix, bladder, and skin cancer.
•Heart and blood vessel disease: ◦If you already have heart or blood vessel problems and smoke, you are at even greater risk of having continued or worse health problems. The nicotine in the tobacco causes an increase in your heart rate and blood pressure. The arteries (blood vessels) in your arms and legs tighten and narrow because of the nicotine in cigarette smoke. Cigarette smoke increases blood clotting, and may damage the lining of your heart's arteries and other blood vessels. Carbon monoxide is a harmful gas that gets into the blood and decreases oxygen going to the heart and the body. Cigarette smoke contains this gas. Hardening of the arteries happens more often in smokers than in nonsmokers. This may make it more likely for you to have a stroke (blood clot in your brain). The more cigarettes you smoke, the greater your risk of a heart attack.
•Lung disease: The younger you are when you start smoking, the greater your risk of getting lung diseases. Many smokers have a cough which is caused by the chemicals in smoke. These chemicals harm the cilia (tiny hairs) that line the lungs and help remove dirt and waste products. Depending upon how much you smoke, your lungs become gray and "dirty" (they look like charcoal). Healthy lungs are pink.
◦Chronic bronchitis is a serious lung infection which is often caused by smoking. Emphysema is a long-term lung disease that may be caused by smoking cigarettes. Cigarette smoking also makes asthma worse. You are at a higher risk of getting colds, pneumonia, and other lung infections if you smoke.
Gastrointestinal disease: Cigarette smoking increases the amount of acid that is made by your stomach, and may cause a peptic ulcer. A peptic ulcer is an open sore in the stomach or duodenum (part of the intestine). You may also get gastroesophageal reflux from smoking. This is when you have a backflow of stomach acid into your esophagus (food tube).
•Other problems: The following are other problems that smoking may cause:
◦Bad breath.
Bad smell in your clothes, hair, and skin.
Decreased ability to play sports or do physical activities because of breathing problems.
◦Earlier than normal wrinkling of the skin, usually the face.
◦Higher risk of bone fractures, such as hip, wrist, or spine.
◦Higher risk of starting a fire. This may happen if you fall asleep with a lit cigarette.
◦Men may have problems having an erection.
Sleeping problems.
◦Smoking is an expensive (costly) habit. You will save money if you choose to stop smoking.
◦Sore throat.
◦Staining of teeth.
•Women and smoking: You may have a higher risk of having a heart attack or stroke if you smoke and use birth control pills. This risk is more serious if you are 35 years or older. The risk of losing your unborn baby or having a stillborn baby is higher if you are pregnant and smoke. Babies born to smoking mothers often weigh less, and are at a higher risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). You may have a harder time getting pregnant if you are a smoker. Women who smoke may have a higher risk of osteoporosis (also known as "brittle bones"). Women who smoke also have a higher risk of incontinence, which is when you are unable to control when you urinate.
Pipes and Cigars- the risks are the same for people who smoke cigars or pipes as they are for cigarette smokers. There is a risk of getting cancer of the mouth, lip, larynx (voice box), or esophagus if you smoke a cigar or pipe
Snuff : People who use snuff or chewing tobacco have an increased risk of getting mouth or throat cancer. The risk of heart disease, stroke, blood vessel disease and stomach problems is the same as it is for cigarette smokers.
Passive smoking
Tobacco smoke is dangerous to others. The effect that smoking has on nonsmokers is called "passive smoking". Nonsmokers who breathe tobacco smoke have the same health risks as smokers. Children who are around tobacco smoke may have more colds, ear infections, or other breathing problems.
Why quit smoking?
The benefits from quitting smoking happen right away. Your sense of taste and smell will improve. Your body, clothes, car, and home will not smell of tobacco smoke. Your chance of getting cancer will be reduced as compared to a person who does not quit. As a former smoker, you will live longer than people who continue to smoke. Women who quit smoking before getting pregnant have a better chance of having a healthy baby. You will decrease the health risks of nonsmokers if you stop smoking. By stopping smoking you will also save money.
How to quit?
◦Thinking about quitting.
◦Decide to quit on a certain day.
◦Actually quit.
Avoid people and places that stimulate you to smoke in the meantime
Order quit ‘’smoking aids’’ aids such as NICOBLOCK or write mayohai@yahoo.com
•Call or write the following for more information about the risks of smoking. www.◦Smokefree.gov
EPISODE 35
SMOKING AND DEVELOPMENTAL HEALTH
CIGARETTE SMOKING
1. Reduction in birth weight and are shorter.
2. Placental complications
3. Premature rupture of membrane
4. Preterm labour
5. Uterine infections
Birth defects of the heart, brain and face are more common in babies of smoking mothers
Acti on: thought to be caused by carbon monoxide, and may reduce oxygen supply to the body’s tissues and nicotine and stimulate the release of hormones that construct the vessels supplying blood to the placenta and uterus.
Cocaine also constructs blood flow to the fetus, reduced growth, skeletal defects, abnormalyy narrow sects of stomach, hyperactivity and uncontrolled trembling in toddlers.
EPISODE 36
ALCOHOL AND FETAL EFFECT
Fetal alcohol syndrome include growth retardation before or after birth, facial defects, a small head (microcephaly) probably caused by subnormal brain growth, and abnormal behavioural development.
Mental retardation occurs more often from fetal alcohol syndrome than any other source.
Also miscarriages, anti-social behaviour and attention deficit in the child. Low birth weight (1/2 half).
EPISODE 36
DRUG USE DURING PREGNANCY
Drug use can affect the foetus in several ways
By acting directly on the foetus, causing damage, abdominal development or death.
By altering the function of the placenta, usually by constricting blood vessels and reducing the exchange of oxygen and nutrients between the foetus and the mother.
By causing the muscles of the uterus to constrict forcefully, indirectly, injuring the foetus by reducing its blood supply
17th-57th day after fertilization – period of organ development.
Sex hormones like synthetic oestrogen, can cause vaginal cancer in adolescent girls whose mothers took this drug during pregnancy. These girls may later suffer from abnormal uterine cavity, menstrual problems, weakened cervix and higher risk of having ectopic pregnancies. Boys who were exposed as foetus may have penis abnormalities.
Tetracycline: cross the placenta and are stored in fetal bone and teeth – where they combine with calcium. As a result, bone growth may be slow, baby’s teeth may be permanently yellow and the teeth enamel may be soft and susceptible to cavities.
Streptomycin may damage the fetus inner ear possibly leading to deafness. Chloramphenicol may cause some problems in the new-born. Ciprofloxacin cause joint abnormalities in animals. Most sulphonamides may lead to jaundice – brain damage.
EPISODE 37
DEVELOPMENT -----THE CRITICAL YEARS—1 TO 10
THE CRISIS YEARS --- TEENS
(tree of effe ctive parenting)
Challenges
FORMER NOW
1. Fear and reverence for parents and elders. 1. Children now bolder, less respectful and parents more persuasive.
2. Gro w up slowly with warm environment and less challenging outside influence. 2. Grow fast, thinks quickly, have access to other climax via the media and have constant challenge on what is being taught at home.
3. Less status competition, less media bombardment and more adult support. 3. Stiff competition, media bombardment, individualistic families, drugs, premarital sex, alcohol smoking.
Episode 38
PAENTING DURING THE CRITICAL YEARS
1. Love unconditionally and don’t show favouritism.
2. Don’t be a laisser-faire parent.
3. Begin early to disabuse the minds of external influences.
4. Imperative to teach decision-making skills. To be able to say NO when everyone is saying YES and stick to it.
5. Love them enough to let them learn.
6. Allow significant learning opportunities by letting them face consequences of decisions.
7. Be their model.
8. Let go and allow SLOs.
9. Self-esteem comes from accomplishments.
10. If you are happy, they are; if you forgive, they learn to.
Self-concept is acquired from childhood and if poor – leads to self-loathing, bullying, arguments with teachers and peers, hatred.
Better to build on positive self-concepts and attributes rather than always highlighting mistakes or set-backs.
Parents should cuddle their children in love because the denial of such affectionate gesture have been shown to stunt even the brain development of the children.But don't hover around the children so much as not to allow a breathing space.
Drill sergeants are so bossy that the children are immune from thinking for themselves.
- Mistakes/failure means severe punishment.
Laisser-faire parent don’t give a damn about anything and expect the children to run the home.
The consultant parents – they give thoughtful guidelines and firm, enforceable limits.
Child teenagers abstract thinkers.
GOOD PARENTS ask questions, enlighten about possible consequences of available options and allow children to make the choices.
God gives us choices knowing that free will may lead to failure. But in failure, we learn.
EPISODE 39
BEDWETTING
Bedwetting (nocturnal enuresis) is accidental, repeated urination by a sleeping child who is old enough to be expected not to wet the bed.
About 30% of children still wet the bed at age 4 years, 10 percent at age 6, 3 percent at age 12, and a 1 percent at age 18. Bed-wetting is more common in boys than in girls and seems to run in families. Bed-wetting is usually caused by slow maturation, although it sometimes accompanies such sleep disorders as sleepwalking and night terrors. A physical disorder- usually a urinary tract infection- is found in only 1 to 2 percent of cases. In rare cases, other disorders, such as diabetes, may cause a child to wet the bed.Bed-wetting occasionally is caused by psychiatric problems, either in the child or in another family member.
Sometimes bed-wetting stops and then begins again. The relapse usually follows a psychologically stressful event or condition, but a physical cause, such as a urinary tract infection, may be responsible.
Behaviour Therapy for Bed-wetting
Child’s responsibilities
Keep a calendar to record wet and dry nights
Refrain from drinking any fluids for 2 to 3 hours before going to bed
Urinate before going to bed
Change clothing and bedding when wet
Parents’ responsibilities
Do not punish child for bed-wetting or get angry when bed-wetting occurs.
Give praise and rewards (a star on the calendar or other rewards, depending on child’s age) for dry nights.
Take the child to rule out any possible underlying medical condition.
EPISODE 40
EPISODE 40
EFFECT OF NEGLECT/ABUSE ON CHILDREN
Neglect due to separation/divorce, job demand or death can intoxicate the body as much as other physical toxins like the smoking we’ve been talking about.
Divorce diverts the attention of adults away from children and focuses on their painful experiences. And this privation is more critical during the first two years of life for the boy child because of tis psychological and neurological effects.
This is because the brain is a dynamic and interactive organ that requires stimulation from the outside world to develop well. And so when mistreated or shuffled from one caregiver to another, terrible losses occur in thinking capacity.
Researches have shown that most violent kids have increased male hormone (testosterone) and more enlarged amygdala, areas of the brain responsible for risk taking and violent acts.
And research at Harvard on college students 91% of those who lacked parental bonding developed CHD, HB, ulcers, alcoholism e.t.c at midlife compared to 45% in those that grow normally.
1ST TIP
You have the power within you and the grace of God to reclaim your life from whatever has been eating you up. If you want us to talk about it, write us at askmay@yahoo.com or call the number on your screen and it shall be well with you.
Bye now.
EPISODE 41
SOCIAL EFFECT OF depravity on children
We have highlighted the fact that chronic neglect, abuse or shuffling hurt children badly during their developmental age and increases the tendency to violence, anti-social behaviours and Godlessness.
Recommendations
Let us reclaim our extended family values. Economy might be biting a bit hard on us but money cannot buy love. Better a home with scanty luxury but plenty love than one with plenty luxury and constant strife. Besides parental love and character formation have a critical time frame which you cannot reclaim if the time passes by.
I co-ordinate a spectrum of widows and orphans from different strata of social level and I can tell you that nothing as yet, can replace quality time and care given to a needy relative or neighbour. In short, there is no prosthesis for a broken heart.
1. All social media, extended family units churches, mosques, courts, police should be encouraged to participate in reducing the level of family disintegration. Old values of being our brothers’ keepers should be re-enforced.
2. Schools need to integrate family values, emotional healthiness and character moulding as core subjects in their curriculum instead of leaving it for NGOs.
3. Children who are hyperactive or who are detached, uninterested and miserable need to be properly counselled, loved, encouraged and fed with meals and supplements that sedate nerves and improve memory such oats, ginseng, thymes etc. Banana is rich in tryptophan and is a precursor for building the pacifier hormone – serotonin.
4. Those who are matured and now indulge in violent acts – should be arrested (to secure the society) but should be camped in an institution properly equipped for counselling, brain-monitoring and other forms of psychotherapeutic processes. Because it is only when you know truly what moves them that you can help them, help the society and prevent or reduce the causative factors of their anti-social behaviours. Anti-stress supplements such as ………….. should be.
5. Street boys and girls and even those who have turned to adult miscreants should all be picked up and institutionalised. The houses should be homely and social experts such as trained psychologists, health experts, qualitative religious institutions should be employed to try and heal these people, refocus them and position them for a normal life in the society.
TIPS
If you suffered so much in your childhood, don’t keep blaming your past and the people who neglected you. Determine to rise above your impediments and the Almighty who says he is the father of the fatherless & husband of the widows will show what he can do. Keep in the right path and write me if you still need to talk.
Episode 42
PUBERTY GIRLS---I
Puberty is a transitional period from childhood to adulthood during which physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and other changes take place and is usually between 10- 19 years of age.
SIGNS: Breasts shoot out, Growth rate is about 4inches/year, spurt of female hormones, there is menstruation or menarche, oily and pimply faces, mood swings.
Fat begins to deposit on the hips to give the typical female feature and the girl becomes more self-conscious. Internally, hormone interplay give rise to menstruation and ovulation and this means the girl’s reproductive organ can now conceive a baby, house it and nurture it to birth.
At this stage any who indulges in sex with the opposite sex may get pregnant. But if intercourse does not happen, the prepare uterus disintegrates and gets washed off with blood in a process called menstruation and this goes to midlife when the hormones get so low that menstruation ceases and the woman is said to go into menopause.
NOW ALL THESE PROCESSES TAKE PLACE IN A REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN HOUSED IN A BONE CAVITY CALLED THE SACRAL BONE. SACRAL IS FROM THE WORD SACRED indicating that what happens in that organ is sacred.
Reflect on this sacred process that goes on in every woman and send me your comments/questions to askmay@yahoo.com
EPISODE 44
PUBERTY GIRLS II
In the last episode we arrived at the fact that reproduction happens in a sacred enclosure indicating that the act of intercourse and childbearing are acts that should be kept sacred. But what do we have?
It is now fashionable to defy Divine order and yet w lament about proliferation of sicknesses like HIV/AIDS, VVF, CERVICAL CANCER spread by human papilloma virus, herpes simplex and other STIs. Also issues like abortions, unwanted pregnancies, premature termination of education, broken dreams and unplanned/unwanted marriages continue to plague us and we don’t want to take the root cause of the problems seriously.
If you miss your period when you know you had intercourse with a boy in recent times, you are most likely pregnant and the baby in your womb is already 2weeks old. On examination when scanned the baby may look like a clot of blood but it is already throbbing in movement as it breathes. THE BREADTH OF GOD IS ALREADY IN THAT CHILD AND ANYTHING YOU DO TO FLUSH OUT THE BABY IS MURDER.
It is bad enough to violate the sacred housing but the evil should not be multiplied by commiting murder. Many women who flushed out their babies are regretting the act even 40 years afterwards.
Confide in your parents or trusted relatives; they may rebuke you but they should relent and help you handle the situation. You may have to be relocated to live with other relations until the baby is born, then you must go back to school and be determined to stay off intimate relationships that may land you in another trouble. Don’t jump into marrying someone you don’t want to live with cos that may condemn you to a life of misery; don’t be in a hurry to give up your baby for adoption- some who did are mourning the loss of their baby for life.
EPISODE 44
PUBERTY –BOYS
SIGNS: Voice grows deeper, Growth is about 4in/year, testosterone surge, hair in chest, pubic area and chin. Some have pimples on their faces.
Teenage, when puberty happens is the age the male hormone multiply most creating those physical changes and also making the youths want to take risky ventures- including unreasonable ones like driving excessively on the road, fighting to exhibit strength and approaching the opposite sex for friendship as the emotions run soar. They are natural.
But then that’s when character is supposed to be firmly established as the values we were taught as children begin to take root and emotions begin to be trained to be subdued. A wild teenager will display a loose character by displaying all his emotions like shouting at his peers and even elders when provoked, insist on fulfilling all emotional cravings when heated up, and joining all kinds of associations to prove that he is macho. While a real youth will concentrate on learning how to be a real gentleman by taming his emotions, listening to wise counsel so that reason is elevated above passion and studying to expand his brain capacity and be truly educated. This is called EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
- You must learn to wait for things you want in life;
- You must learn to decipher what is good and bad and say emphatic NO to the bad ones irrespective of what everyone else is saying;
- You must begin to dream about your future—your career, your vocation, your role in the society and what you will like to be remembered for. What kind of home would you like to build and with what kind of woman? What and what must you do or avoid to make sure these dreams become realities in your life?
- I WILL LIKE TO SHARE YOUR DREAMS SO FEEL FREE TO WRITE VIA SMS OR MY E-MAIL and rem to check blog site,
Thursday, October 27, 2011
FULLY ALIVE WITH MAY
FULLY ALIVE WITH MAY is an Ltv8/Dstv129 program geared towards enlightening poeple on their health and social issues and providing emergency tips on health to point us all towards healthier lives and societies. The topics treated their include:
1. HEART ATTACK
Heart attack is a medical emergency that should be very quickly tackled in the hospital but the rate of surviving it is very much dependent on what the victim and the people around him are able to do within the first few minutes of its occurrence.
When there’s a heart attack the heart’s blood supply is suddenly severely restricted or cut off causing heart muscle to die from lack of oxygen. A blood clot in the artery is in the most
cases, the cause of this blockade. Now over 60 percent of persons who have attacks have some warning signals in their body before the big bang but in many cases, these warnings are disregarded or misinterpreted to be some other more minor ailments.
The warning signs are
1.Intermittent chest pain
2 .Unusual fatigue even after you have had some rest
3. Restlessness with discomfort around the chest region
These warnings should make anyone to go the hospital for a proper check-up.
However the case may be if you start feeling faint and having a heavy pounding or sharp pain in the heart plus irregular heart beat and if you become very restless sweaty, then quickly call the hospital, chew an aspirin tab plus raw garlic if they are handy. Do not panic and do not try to drive unless the pain is not yet threatening.
Then Start coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough; the cough must be deep and prolonged as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest other the victims has about 10 seconds before loss of conscience. A breath and cough must be repeated about every two seconds in that set-up until help arrives or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breathes get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm.
GENERAL RULE: Cut down on your fatty foods and frying to reduce your cholesterol intake, check your blood pressure regularly( say twice in a week), do exercises to stretch the heart and other muscles, and go for a regular medical check up to make sure all is well.
SUPPLEMENTS: Mistletoe tea, Linghzhi tea, garlic, gingko biloba, walnut, noni, omega 3,9, Vitamin E and others.
2.DETOXIFYING THE MIND BEFORE SLEEP
Anyone who goes to work, market or some kind of social activity comes back home with issues in the mind still wanting to be attended to and this is worse off for the leaders or bosses of their team who have to keep the place on board.
The Creator says, “ sufficient unto the day is the evil or the hassle thereof’,’ and so you don’t need to go to bed with a congested mind all the time and expect to perform optimally the next day. The chaos has to be pushed aside, at least for the meantime, to give the body its deserved rest, and you some technique to do that. There are a number of meditative exercises that can calm the nerves but we can only take one here.
MEDITATIVE EXERCISE: After your meals at the end of the day sit in a quiet corner where there is minimal distraction. Write any unfinished business of the day in a jotter and as you
close the jotter, determinedly tell yourself that you are closing that case for today. Remind yourself that the world will go on without you.
Then focus your mind on any picture scenery in your house- say a waterfall, or beautiful
garden etc.(that is if you do not have a real garden). As you focus on the scene, imagine yourself being actually in the garden and strolling on the path between the flowers and appreciate
the beauty of nature. Intermittently breathe in all that is pure and life giving and breathe out all that is impure. Savour the scenery because experiments have shown that the brain does not discriminate whether the person is actually relaxing in a real garden or an imaginary one.
As you do this, feel all your nerves relax and tension ease off from your toes to your head. Then say your prayers go to sleep with the thought of the beauty of the world and all it portrays.
If you have problems going to sleep due to some hurts or midlife problems, don’t keep
pumping yourself with sleeping drugs unless it has been specifically prescribed by your physician for a period of time. Go natural—use herbal teas which, in most cases, are just vegetables.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Chamomile or Jasmine are very calming teas and their oil can even be sprinkled on your
pillow for inhalation as you lie down. Other relaxers are honey and milk mixed in a glass of warm water; raw onions; orange and cashew leaves dried indoors and prepared as any tea; linghzhi; noni and aloe vera juice.
3.
CALM AND PRODUCTIVE DAY
Peaceful sleep at night and trust in Divine guardiance are definite prescriptions for a calm
and productive next day.
Science has shown that our brain goes through various levels of consciousness which is classified as wavelengths; we have the beta wave when we are fully awake and mentally most efficient, then as we drift to sleep we enter the theta wave, then the delta state of very deep sleep, then back to the theta and then the alpha wavelengths. During the very deep sleep our brain is truly resting but as it moves into the theta wavelength (active dreaming state) it digests and sorts those things we pushed aside before sleep. And towards your wake, that is when you are half asleep and half-awake, you are in the alpha wave length of human consciousness when the sorted issues in the mind are relayed.
Don’t just jump out of bed then; spend some 5 to 10mins in that near wakefulness and take note of any messages or intuitions you get. If they are relevant to your job or issue, write them down so as not to forget. Then you can get up, pray, take 3-5 cups of water, do some quick streching exercises to wake up your muscles and start your day. That kind of habit creates the difference between a calm, self-confident, efficient and calculated executive and a disoriented one.
SUPPLEMENTS: Oatmeal or thyme tea made by infusing a teaspoonful of thyme leaves in a cupful of hot water should sometimes replace our regular cup of tea or coffee. This because the alertness that tea evokes is excitant and superflous- one feels alert for a while and then soon slumps into tiredness. Besides, the caffeine in the tea creates nervousness which may impede on one’s efficiency and wellbeing during the day.
Then a capsule of good multivitamin, ginseng and ginger tea will be of immense help.
4. STRESS AT WORK
Stress is part of living whether for good or for bad and no amount of lecture will completely remove it from anyone’s life. But it should have a limit otherwise it shorten one’s life or
deprive organizations of the maximum benefit they can get from their workforce.
I took time to compute the cost of stress of a hypothetical overstressed manager to his company in one of my books on stress titled, ‘STRESS MANAGEMENT AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT’. And the summation is that for a hypothetical manager on N100,000 per
month who supervises five officers each of whom earns N50,000 per month, the total loss on remuneration to the company due to burn out is about N46,000.00per month. Every organisation should therefore be on the lookout for its members with signs of unmanaged stress.
SIGNS OF UNMANAGED STRESS
Chronic fatigue
1.
Anger at those making demands
2.
Self–criticism for putting up with the demands
3.
Cynicism, negativity and irritability
4.
A sense of being besieged
5.
Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things Frequent headaches
6.
Gastro intestinal disturbances
7.
Weight loss or gain
8.
Sleeplessness and depression
9.
Shortness of breaths
10.
Suspiciousness
11.
Feeling of helplessness Increased degree of risk taking Typical causes of stress work
1.
Bulling or harassment
2.
Feeling powerless and uninvolved in
determining one’s own responsibility
3.
Continuous unreasonable performance demands
4.
Lack of job security
5.
long working hours
6.
Excessive time away from home and family
7.
Office politics and conflict among staff
8.
A feeling that one’s reward is not commensurate with one’s responsibility
9.
Underlying personal problems
10.
Unfavorable work conditions
11.
Toxicants-blatant or unobtrusive (radiation from computers, blacklights for checking currency, fumes, etc)
12.
Traffic congestions/transportation problems
5. TOXICANTS—RADIATIONS AND CHEMICALS
Toxicants are substances that poison the system either blatantly, unnoticed, chronically or acutely. They can be ingested via contaminated food or inhaled from the environment. Foods preserved with pesticides and preservatives are usual culprits in food comtamination;
paint factories, generating sets, congested and dirty environments, and radiations from blacklights and computers are all media of generating toxins to humans.
These radiations and contaminants accelerate aging of the skin, damage to the body’s DNA and increase the chances of having skin and other forms of cancer.
One major precaution everyone must take is that you don’t sit behind someone’s CPU or monitor cos the radiation is heaviest from there; Ensure that the light for checking your currency is placed in such a way that you have minimal contact with it.
It is time we all begin to the radiation emission level of our computers before buying them. And if computer companies insist that their brand is completely safe ask them to test them before you with a GAUSE METER--the standard magnetic field that is not too dangerous for humans should be roughly under IMG at one foot distance from the monitor; Glare guards help to shield frequency radiation but be sure it is grounded and the computer must be plugged into a working 3 wire outlet for the radiation reduction to take place. If the wire outlet doesn’t have an earth (i.e 3 outlet ) your body may serve as the antenna. Do not rest your laptop on your lap to work especially if pregnant. Then again if you work in a factory where chemicals like paints etc are produced let your union make sure that the level of pollution of the air in the vicinity is within safety range.
6.
Gastro intestinal disturbances
7.
Weight loss or gain
8.
Sleeplessness and depression
9.
Shortness of breaths
10.
Suspiciousness
11.
Feeling of helplessness Increased degree of risk taking Typical causes of stress work
1.
Bulling or harassment
2.
Feeling powerless and uninvolved in
determining one’s own responsibility
3.
Continuous unreasonable performance demands
4.
Lack of job security
5.
long working hours
6.
Excessive time away from home and family
7.
Office politics and conflict among staff
8.
A feeling that one’s reward is not commensurate with one’s responsibility
9.
Underlying personal problems
10.
Unfavorable work conditions
11.
Toxicants-blatant or unobtrusive (radiation from computers, blacklights for checking currency, fumes, etc)
12.
Traffic congestions/transportation problems
5. TOXICANTS—RADIATIONS AND CHEMICALS
Toxicants are substances that poison the system either blatantly, unnoticed, chronically or acutely. They can be ingested via contaminated food or inhaled from the environment. Foods preserved with pesticides and preservatives are usual culprits in food comtamination;
paint factories, generating sets, congested and dirty environments, and radiations from blacklights and computers are all media of generating toxins to humans.
These radiations and contaminants accelerate aging of the skin, damage to the body’s DNA and increase the chances of having skin and other forms of cancer.
One major precaution everyone must take is that you don’t sit behind someone’s CPU or monitor cos the radiation is heaviest from there; Ensure that the light for checking your currency is placed in such a way that you have minimal contact with it.
It is time we all begin to the radiation emission level of our computers before buying them. And if computer companies insist that their brand is completely safe ask them to test them before you with a GAUSE METER--the standard magnetic field that is not too dangerous for humans should be roughly under IMG at one foot distance from the monitor; Glare guards help to shield frequency radiation but be sure it is grounded and the computer must be plugged into a working 3 wire outlet for the radiation reduction to take place. If the wire outlet doesn’t have an earth (i.e 3 outlet ) your body may serve as the antenna. Do not rest your laptop on your lap to work especially if pregnant. Then again if you work in a factory where chemicals like paints etc are produced let your union make sure that the level of pollution of the air in the vicinity is within safety range.
SUPPLEMENTS
: Carrots, spanish grapes, cocoa powder without the additives, high potency
vitamin C and E, and a whole range of antioxidants/ free radical scavengers are great antidotes to the devastating effects of the long time ingestions of the toxins.
6, ANGER MANAGEMENT
Anger is a natural emotional vent for various forms of dissatisfaction. And so, getting occasionally is unavoidable in life and even needful for wellbeing and for fostering understanding in
relationships. But when it becomes excessive or too frequent in occurrence it
becomes a stressor and might lead to serious consequences such as loss of important friendships, loss of jobs, Injury to oneself or to others, frequent illness and depression.
Research findings published in year 2005 by Dr. Michael Miller in Univ. of Maryland in Baltimore confirmed that stress caused by anger reduced blood flow by around 35% but laughter
increased it by around 22%.
Strategies to keeps anger at bay
1. Relaxation :
When the emotion is welling up, walk away from the scene. If you can, find somewhere to
sit and begin to breath deeply from your gut. As you breath out say a calm word like “ relax “, ‘’this will pass ”
2. .As you calm down begin to restructure your thinking about the event. It is called cognitive restructuring and rational self analysis.
A → B → C →consequent action
↓ ↓
Activating How you analyzed B Event determines how C will turn out
3.Empathy – or putting yourself in the other person’s position also helps to take issues lightly and forgive easily. Remember to smile often or at least remind yourself of the heart attack exercise if you won’t.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Any fruit or vegetable that is rich in the amino acid called tryptophan should always be taken by those who are prone to anger or depression. This is because tryptophan is a precursor to serotonin—our body producing pacifier hormone or happy messenger. BANANA is one such fruit. Others melatonin and any free radical scavenger like high potency Vitamin C, E, OMEGA
3,6 FISH OIL are supplements to befriend.
7. MARITAL RELATIONS
Libido or sexual desire is intrinsic in man and in most cases it is even made the basis of most man/woman relationships. While I do not promote that opinion and have actually formed an N.G.O to canvass against extra-marital sex, it is given that married couples need that union for intimacy, healing of past hurts and procreation. And so when the man cannot perform or the women cannot be aroused in the family- a major problem is created. Reduction in libido can be due to emotional, psychological, drug-induced factors or due to a change in the level
of sex hormones especially at midlife.
Emotionally,when one is unhappy or un-attracted to the partner, the urge for sex reduces.
It is often said that men are moved by what they see while women are moved by what they feel. So if the man doesn’t like what he sees or the woman feels unloved, libido may be affected; if you are psychologically exhausted or when a man is made to feel inferior or inadequate, it further reduces his hormone level and worsens the libido. Some medications like some kind of diabetic or
blood pressure drugs may affect one’s libido. Then of course as we approach midlife and beyond, like from about 40 years upwards, one’s sexual hormones decrease.
In all these cases, you don’t solve the problem by blaming each other or adding to the stress by nagging or being unduly suspicious. And going outside to test your prowess with someone else is like pouring some fuel over a smouldering fire—the consequences are far beyond the problem that sent you out in the first instance. Effective communication is a better approach: find out the root cause and seek professional help if possible. The 3-stage sensate techniques described in my books has helped some people and the principle is basically trying to increase trust, intimacy and neededness in the relationship by proving that one’s partner is not just needed for sex or whatever else she or he can donate. When a couple create more time for each other, use pet names and share more love talks even by phone, touch themselves tenderly without going
into sex for long enough time to show that just being together is more important than jumping into bed for sex, trust, desire and passion invariably builds up and solves the libido problem. The problems of emotions and self-worth are often taken for granted but their effects in issues like love and sex are tremendous.
But most importantly, realise that a decrease in libido is not a curse and should never dent a genuine relationship; it is probably a call to focus on other important aspects of intimacy such as heart to heart connection, effective communication, trust and being there for each other.
SUPPLEMENTS:
sit and begin to breath deeply from your gut. As you breath out say a calm word like “ relax “, ‘’this will pass ”
2. .As you calm down begin to restructure your thinking about the event. It is called cognitive restructuring and rational self analysis.
A → B → C →consequent action
↓ ↓
Activating How you analyzed B Event determines how C will turn out
3.Empathy – or putting yourself in the other person’s position also helps to take issues lightly and forgive easily. Remember to smile often or at least remind yourself of the heart attack exercise if you won’t.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Any fruit or vegetable that is rich in the amino acid called tryptophan should always be taken by those who are prone to anger or depression. This is because tryptophan is a precursor to serotonin—our body producing pacifier hormone or happy messenger. BANANA is one such fruit. Others melatonin and any free radical scavenger like high potency Vitamin C, E, OMEGA
3,6 FISH OIL are supplements to befriend.
7. MARITAL RELATIONS
Libido or sexual desire is intrinsic in man and in most cases it is even made the basis of most man/woman relationships. While I do not promote that opinion and have actually formed an N.G.O to canvass against extra-marital sex, it is given that married couples need that union for intimacy, healing of past hurts and procreation. And so when the man cannot perform or the women cannot be aroused in the family- a major problem is created. Reduction in libido can be due to emotional, psychological, drug-induced factors or due to a change in the level
of sex hormones especially at midlife.
Emotionally,when one is unhappy or un-attracted to the partner, the urge for sex reduces.
It is often said that men are moved by what they see while women are moved by what they feel. So if the man doesn’t like what he sees or the woman feels unloved, libido may be affected; if you are psychologically exhausted or when a man is made to feel inferior or inadequate, it further reduces his hormone level and worsens the libido. Some medications like some kind of diabetic or
blood pressure drugs may affect one’s libido. Then of course as we approach midlife and beyond, like from about 40 years upwards, one’s sexual hormones decrease.
In all these cases, you don’t solve the problem by blaming each other or adding to the stress by nagging or being unduly suspicious. And going outside to test your prowess with someone else is like pouring some fuel over a smouldering fire—the consequences are far beyond the problem that sent you out in the first instance. Effective communication is a better approach: find out the root cause and seek professional help if possible. The 3-stage sensate techniques described in my books has helped some people and the principle is basically trying to increase trust, intimacy and neededness in the relationship by proving that one’s partner is not just needed for sex or whatever else she or he can donate. When a couple create more time for each other, use pet names and share more love talks even by phone, touch themselves tenderly without going
into sex for long enough time to show that just being together is more important than jumping into bed for sex, trust, desire and passion invariably builds up and solves the libido problem. The problems of emotions and self-worth are often taken for granted but their effects in issues like love and sex are tremendous.
But most importantly, realise that a decrease in libido is not a curse and should never dent a genuine relationship; it is probably a call to focus on other important aspects of intimacy such as heart to heart connection, effective communication, trust and being there for each other.
SUPPLEMENTS:
There are a number of supplements that are being paraded to enhance libido and I advise that you discuss the one you want to use with your doctor or pharmacist who should know whether or not they can go with your medications or health conditions. By and large, I vote for herbal supplements that increase blood flow to the organs, relax the nerves and perhaps gradually increase the depleted sex hormones. Such medicinal plants act slowly and cumulatively and so any unpleasant effect will be noticed on time before a major havoc is committed. GINGKO BILOBA, GINSENG, DAMIANA, GOATWEED, and SESAME will improve performance and prevent premature ejaculation in men. Women can also benefit from ginseng, gingko and damiana but will need to add EVENING PRIMROSE OIL, PASQUE FLOWER, SAGE and DON QUAI to help balance their depleting sex hormone at midlife.
N.B When one is oversexed so much that the partner can’t keep up or when a young unmarried
adult turns a new leaf in life and wants to suppress his/her sexual urges, then plants like HOPS, WATER LILLY and WHITE WILLOW will calm the excitation.
8. LEADERSHIP AND GENDER
Leadership is the guidance or direction of people and resources towards achieving a particular goal. When we are talking about leadership I’m not restricting it to governance; it could be
in the home, offices, village settings and clubs / societies and then of course, the state.
The key words here are to guide and direct people, to channel resources and be focused on achieving a particular goal which naturally should be for the betterment of all the parties involved. In management training we talk of goal setting, good organizational climate,
personnel and time management and the rest of it and they all apply.
My main point here is on guiding and directing people and channelling available resources to achieve a goal: can you truly guide and direct people if you don’t understand them and their makeup? How versed are you as a leader in the resources available to you as far as human
capital is concerned?
How many of us care enough to know that in creating man, the hormone he is bathed with (which he uses in procreation, and which makes him physically stronger and more of a
risk taker than the female) has also put some limitation to his ability to digest information and has localized his language development to only one side of the brain while the female has it more distributed on both sides of her brain? The point here is that men think longer about what they believe in especially if it has an emotional component attached to it, than the women and
the women can see the bigger picture of issues faster than the men. Again this localization of language issue makes it easier for women to recover from a stroke illness if the speech is affected than the men. Men on their part are more courageous, have more stamina and can take bigger risks.
If these factors are taken cognizance of in leadership, why is it that woman are always subordinated when important issues are being debated on? Is it because they talk more or shall we continue to delude ourselves that physical strength and risk taking prowess are better
qualities than broader view, generativity and care?
The rate and level of revolt across the world today shows that leadership has failed the led in most nations of the world and my candid opinion is that those qualities that the female gender are most endowed with are lacking in many leadership circles; compassion, sensitivity empathy and fear of God.
Bottom line: let all the resources, gender and others be recognized and used if we are serious about achieving our goals in new dispensation.
N.B When one is oversexed so much that the partner can’t keep up or when a young unmarried
adult turns a new leaf in life and wants to suppress his/her sexual urges, then plants like HOPS, WATER LILLY and WHITE WILLOW will calm the excitation.
8. LEADERSHIP AND GENDER
Leadership is the guidance or direction of people and resources towards achieving a particular goal. When we are talking about leadership I’m not restricting it to governance; it could be
in the home, offices, village settings and clubs / societies and then of course, the state.
The key words here are to guide and direct people, to channel resources and be focused on achieving a particular goal which naturally should be for the betterment of all the parties involved. In management training we talk of goal setting, good organizational climate,
personnel and time management and the rest of it and they all apply.
My main point here is on guiding and directing people and channelling available resources to achieve a goal: can you truly guide and direct people if you don’t understand them and their makeup? How versed are you as a leader in the resources available to you as far as human
capital is concerned?
How many of us care enough to know that in creating man, the hormone he is bathed with (which he uses in procreation, and which makes him physically stronger and more of a
risk taker than the female) has also put some limitation to his ability to digest information and has localized his language development to only one side of the brain while the female has it more distributed on both sides of her brain? The point here is that men think longer about what they believe in especially if it has an emotional component attached to it, than the women and
the women can see the bigger picture of issues faster than the men. Again this localization of language issue makes it easier for women to recover from a stroke illness if the speech is affected than the men. Men on their part are more courageous, have more stamina and can take bigger risks.
If these factors are taken cognizance of in leadership, why is it that woman are always subordinated when important issues are being debated on? Is it because they talk more or shall we continue to delude ourselves that physical strength and risk taking prowess are better
qualities than broader view, generativity and care?
The rate and level of revolt across the world today shows that leadership has failed the led in most nations of the world and my candid opinion is that those qualities that the female gender are most endowed with are lacking in many leadership circles; compassion, sensitivity empathy and fear of God.
Bottom line: let all the resources, gender and others be recognized and used if we are serious about achieving our goals in new dispensation.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Ginseng, serotonin boosting plants like banana, oats, nerve relaxants like orange leaves and
linghzhi tea, a habitual reflective life evaluation amidst calming natural habitat like flower gardens, sea shores and so on. A RELAXED, REFLECTIVE LIFE IS NOT LIKELY TO BE TOO POWER HUNGRY, AVARICIOUS, INSENSITIVE AND CHAUVINISTIC.
9.
linghzhi tea, a habitual reflective life evaluation amidst calming natural habitat like flower gardens, sea shores and so on. A RELAXED, REFLECTIVE LIFE IS NOT LIKELY TO BE TOO POWER HUNGRY, AVARICIOUS, INSENSITIVE AND CHAUVINISTIC.
9.
ENVIRONMENT POLLUTION AND HEALTH.
There is one aspect of our healthcare that is not yet getting the attention that it deserves, especially in the developing world and that is preventive healthcare in terms of cleanliness.
Generally , people sit on uncovered gutters and cook and leave the food uncovered and Nigerians go and eat the food; you go to our motor parks particularly where our big luxurious buses are loaded and you can’t find a decent toilet to ease yourself in; Go to our markets –I mean built up shops attached to building like in Idumota and you may have to walk a mile to see some filthy place where you have to pay as much as N50.00 just to pee.
Typhoid fever was never a major issue in this country until pure water became the mainstay of quenching our thirst outside the home. Some will say that the germs in water do not kill. May their faith continue to work for them but I would be more willing to buy that statement if you refer to a clean flowing stream than poorly treated packaged water kept under the sun for the bacteria in them to thrive. And when they finish drinking the water people simply drop
the nylon on the streets where their fellow human beings are deployed to clear.
What of our so called private schools? Some of them are just damp holes that are not even fit for animals because of their poor ventilation and poor hygiene status. And parents go and
dump their children there for schooling either due to the cheap cost of the school or for some reasons sentiments. Even if we can’t equip our hospitals well enough to revive and treat patients who would have lived with the use of modern equipment, let us at least employ, train and deploy sanitary inspectors to go inspect our roadside canteens, motor parks, shopping plazas, estates and congested neighbourhoods and so on. School inspectors should be made to function better by giving them the tools and protection they require while in the field.
Let NAFDAC and SON do more than test samples sent to their officers ;let them send out officers on regular basis to go and buy random samples of pure water and medication from the market and see if they pass the test. And while reprimanding the defaulters we have to also
hold the inspectors accountable if they do not do their work. I believe our health index will be much better if we do that.
There is one aspect of our healthcare that is not yet getting the attention that it deserves, especially in the developing world and that is preventive healthcare in terms of cleanliness.
Generally , people sit on uncovered gutters and cook and leave the food uncovered and Nigerians go and eat the food; you go to our motor parks particularly where our big luxurious buses are loaded and you can’t find a decent toilet to ease yourself in; Go to our markets –I mean built up shops attached to building like in Idumota and you may have to walk a mile to see some filthy place where you have to pay as much as N50.00 just to pee.
Typhoid fever was never a major issue in this country until pure water became the mainstay of quenching our thirst outside the home. Some will say that the germs in water do not kill. May their faith continue to work for them but I would be more willing to buy that statement if you refer to a clean flowing stream than poorly treated packaged water kept under the sun for the bacteria in them to thrive. And when they finish drinking the water people simply drop
the nylon on the streets where their fellow human beings are deployed to clear.
What of our so called private schools? Some of them are just damp holes that are not even fit for animals because of their poor ventilation and poor hygiene status. And parents go and
dump their children there for schooling either due to the cheap cost of the school or for some reasons sentiments. Even if we can’t equip our hospitals well enough to revive and treat patients who would have lived with the use of modern equipment, let us at least employ, train and deploy sanitary inspectors to go inspect our roadside canteens, motor parks, shopping plazas, estates and congested neighbourhoods and so on. School inspectors should be made to function better by giving them the tools and protection they require while in the field.
Let NAFDAC and SON do more than test samples sent to their officers ;let them send out officers on regular basis to go and buy random samples of pure water and medication from the market and see if they pass the test. And while reprimanding the defaulters we have to also
hold the inspectors accountable if they do not do their work. I believe our health index will be much better if we do that.
SUPPLEMENTS; Antioxidants—vitamins C, E, SELENIUM, OMEGA 3.6 fish oil and other free radical scavengers like melatonin. Fruits like carrots, apples, grapes, garlic among others.
10. ALCOHOL AND BODY EFFECTS
Alcohol is a favourite mood-altering drug in most societies and its effects, both pleasant and unpleasant, are well-known. What may not be well known is the fact that alcohol is a toxic drug that produces pathological changes (cirrhosis) in liver tissue and can cause death.
Alcohol is readily absorbed from the gastrointestinal tract; however, alcohol cannot be stored and therefore, the body must oxidize it to get rid of it. Alcohol can only be oxidized in the liver, where enzymes are found to initiate the process.
In addition, alcohol directly contributes to malnutrition since a pint of 86 proof alcohol (not an unusual daily intake for an alcoholic) represents about half of the daily energy requirement. However, ethanol does not have any minerals, vitamins, carbohydrates, fats or protein associated with it.
Alcohol causes inflammation of the stomach, pancreas, and intestines which impairs the digestion of food and absorption into blood. Moreover, the acetaldehyde (the oxidation product) can interfere with the activation of vitamins.
Short term effects: Alcohol is quickly absorbed by the gut and intestine and into the bloodstream. Higher concentrations of drinks containing alcohol are absorbed at a faster rate and when the body absorbs too much alcohol it may result in:
Dizzyness
Vomiting
Loss of
coordination
Headache
Hangover
(the following day)
Weight gain
Women
are recommended to drink less alcohol than men because they have, in general more body fat and less water in their body than men. This means that the alcohol concentrates more in a woman’s body than in a similar sized man. In addition, a woman’s liver produces less of the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase needed to break down alcohol in the liver. This means that the same amount of alcohol will stay in a woman’s body longer than in a man’s.
Alcohol is also high in "empty calories" – in other words of no nutritional value. This is why people who are dependent on alcohol are often malnourished.
However, for moderate drinkers, it can help lead to weight gain. Each gram of
alcohol is equal to seven calories. So a standard measure of whisky (25ml, 40%
ABV) would contain over 50 calories and a pint of beer (5% ABV) over 160.
Long term effects: Long term over–drinking either leads to or increases your risk of a large number of serious health conditions. These include: Liver disease – fatty liver, hepatitis, cirrhosis and cancer Increased risk of heart disease and stroke Cancers of the mouth, pharynx, oesophagus, larynx, breast, bowel and liver
Stomach
disorders
Pancreatitis
(inflammation of the pancreas)
Mental
health problems (depression and anxiety)
Impotence
SUPPLEMENTS: Stop-smoking aids, Antioxidants, blood and liver cleansers like Artichoke,
Radish, Milk Thistle, Vervain, Onion, Boldo and a host of other medicinal plants that are already prepared and stored in herbal pharmacies.
11. PROCASTINATION AS STRESSOR PROCASTINATION-delaying issues you should deal with sooner.
Do you have a friend or relation who is bemoaning not being able to do something for the parent or spouse before he or she passed on? I can tell that if not well managed the stress of that guilt
can kill anyone.
A young man I know had his father in the hospital at a time his business was completely grounded. This young member of my kindred tried to buy the few things the father needed at a point, the hospital requested for some money ( not really large sum) for a procedure that
would most probably have solved the old man’s problem but he didn’t have it and couldn’t raise it. So the father insisted on being taken home and the young man did it with a very heavy heart. This young man kept lamenting that his father was going to die due to poverty and after a few weeks it happened. The guilt of this incident kept gnawing at this young man so much that 2yrs after, he too gave up the ghost!
I could have treated this case under learning to cope with what you can’t control but it had to come under procrastination because the young man had the opportunity and the means of
addressing the father’s issue when the problem first started but he kept postponing the issue and kept himself busy with his business.
Take time to show your loved ones that you care today, don’t postpone the issue hoping to do
it in a big way later: it is the show of love that matters, not the monetary value of the gift; if you hope to bear fruit with your time and talents, don’t wait till you retire from service- begin to squeeze out the time today because you don’t own tomorrow. REGRET IS A KILLER BUT DON’T LET IT KILL YOU!
TIPS: Plan all your intended actions. Allot time to them and put them in your reminder. When your reminder clicks go AHEAD and do the job or whatever it is. You can even ask a good
friend to nag you should you have cold feet about doing something that is important unless of course, you prayed about it and you are not feeling comfortable with going ahead.
And if you already a regret victim, do not play the ‘JUDAS’ who committed suicide after betraying our Lord; by so doing he denied himself of making amends and worse still, destroyed a life he didn’t create. Or don’t you know we are not our owners? Try to make amends: if a dead person is involved, visit the burial place, talk to the departed and promise to be a more disciplined person.
If the person is alive or if the issue is still unattended to, then move immediately and go right the wrong.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Memory boosters like gingko biloba, Ginseng, lecithin, Early flowering Periwinkle, Oats, Walnut and THE RIGHT ATTITUDES- humility and sensitivity.
12.GENERAL ANTISTRESS DISPOSITIONS
In the first instance, most of the symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headache, high B.p, should always be investigated by medical personnel to make sure there is no underlying disease condition. But I want to simply list some things we need to do to ‘read’ our body and see if all is well:
1.
Listen to the body- every part of the body is a living entity that can communicate to the entire system about its state of affairs and the communication is mainly via the sensory organs. If the stomach is dirty it can communicate same by emitting some unpleasant odour via the mouth or anus and the sense of smell picks it up. If one’s leg is swollen, it may be a pointer that something is wrong with the heart, kidney or any other organ of the body. If you are often tired, don’t just drown yourself in tea and coffee, take some time and rest and do some breathing exercises to see if any part of the body will elicit some pain or discomfort.
2.
Seek quality care early and dig to the root cause of the problem.
Do not just self-medicate to reduce the symptoms you feel. e.g. if your legs get swollen up without any sprain, don’t jump to lasix to drain the water (as is the habit around here); go and let some tests be conducted to see if any of your body organs is diseased.
3.
Find out the appropriate supplements to take to help you glide through life more easily, a tab of micropirin( 75mg aspirin) daily or some garlic to keep the heart healthy, a capsule of ginseng and selenium based supplement plus vitamins especially C and E to boost immunity, calcium and glucosamine combinations to strengthen your bones and gingko, lecithin and others to boost mental efficiency are certainly in order these days that we don’t have time for healthy diets.
4.
Learn to exercise; do the warm ups, take a brief walk, jog or skip. Exercises metabolize stress hormones and enhance the mood. Learn to do belly breathing: sitting down and breathing from the stomach without moving the shoulders and also rotate the shoulders to send more blood and oxygen to the brain..
5.
Always keep the act of relaxation handy and don’t play God as if the world will crumble if you are not there.
6.Don’t Ignore Problems Or Conflicts because they will build up and create more problems for you and establishment.
Control your anger all right, but don’t run away from the problem thinking that it will frizzle away with time. Rationalize the issue objectively and find a way to discuss and solve the problem with the appropriate person. Never live on with grudges; it’s not healthy.
7.Don’t keep wishing you are somebody else or that you belong somewhere else. God has not made a mistake in placing you where you are; you are the one that has found out why you are where you are and play a positive role there.
8.Lets learn to be content with our lot, add value to our environment and try always to reward
ourselves with recreations and the things that make us happy. For me, trying to build intimacy with my God has smoothened the rough edges of my life; you can try that too.
MIDLIFE PASSAGE AND ITS CHALLENGES
THE midpoint of life--- 35 to 55 years of age and is a period in one’s life when a lot of changes happen to the individual physiologically, sociologically, psychologically, physically and
emotionally. To both the man and woman, there is a level of inner questioning.
It starts with vague feeling of feeling matured or getting old, having achieved little or much, taking stock of one’s direction in life and noticing some physiological signs or discomforts
that tend to remind one that life is indeed ticking. Emotionally, most people are shaken since they lose our old anchors in life-most midlifers experience the loss of parents, children begin leave home, unmarried ladies begin to lose hope of ever getting bonded- about this time and tend to see ourselves alone.
The women have all kinds of complaints because of their approaching menopause: hot flashes, irregular menstrual flow constant tiredness, fuzzy thinking, irritability, joint pains, weight gain, lethargy, etc It may surprising to a lot of people that men are being mentioned under the midlife
crisis because they don’t have any menses that is stopping but the list of disturbances that happen at this stage in life are much beyond menses.
As often reported in women in their forties and beyond, symptoms of vasomotor instability or changes in the diameter of the blood vessels occur in the males as well. There is heightened
anxiety and possible disruption in the tempo and efficiency of their job, chronic fatigue and lassitude which eventually overflows into their sex life.
Fats accumulate in the body. And if it is such that blood vessels are narrowed, then there is increased tendency to have heart disease, reduced oxygen inflow to the brain, leading to compromised mental efficiency, and other spiral effects. The men may sometimes wake up anxiously in the middle of the night, may withdraw into obsessive work, begin to notice reduced libido ,pain in the joints become more forgetful, may have problem with urination because of
prostate enlargement and generally become apprehensive. The changes in the men are capped under the name—ANDROPAUSE. THE MIDLIFE IS XTERISED BY A DEEP MALAISE CALLED TIME DIFFUSION WHICH STEMS FROM A SUDDEN LACK OF TRUST IN THE
FUTURE AND UNWILLINGNESS TO BELIEVE THERE’S ANYTHING TO HOLD ONTO.
The shake-up that the period evokes is the reason the period is called MIDLIFE CRISIS and the hormonal changes that occurs between the age range of 35 and 60 is known as CLIMACTERIC.
It is a paradox that, as we come out of the crisis, although we have less actual time left, the depression and ennui lift. We come to sift our lives and, hopefully, retain the valuable virtues,
paying attention to the more important things in life such as family, relationships, generosity, generativity and spirituality. The future is, again, seen in a truer perspective, as we infuse it with the faith of our redefined purpose.
15.
Peri-Menopause
This a time of about 10 years in a woman’s life, during which her body changes its secretion and
processing of the hormones needed for reproduction. The Greek words men and pausis mean ‘month to end ’and peri means ‘near’. Both peri-menopause and menopause are stages in a longer process known as climacteric, which refers to hormonal changes in a woman’s body that take place from about age of thirty-five to about age sixty.
Time varies but major cause is imbalance between progesterone and oestrogen. The two prime causes of these are lack of regular ovulation and exhaustion of the adrenal glands. This imbalance
can occur prematurely due to some medical problems such as autoimmune disorders but many of us heighten this condition in our lives by our poor eating habits and harbouring unmanaged stress for a long time. For instance, eating a lot of processed carbohydrates and raw sugar which are devoid of vitamins and minerals or feeding on very low fat diets which deprive the body of the good fats necessary to stay healthy and manufacture hormones.
But whether we right or not, at some point in life, the normal sex hormones get so depleted that menses become irregular, and the body begins to notice some unusual symptoms that make life
less than comfortable. Patience and the right supplements will be most needed to enable one to glide through this stage of life.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Evening Primrose oil, laurel, Parsley, Mugwort, Mistletoe and Rue leaves; and if menstruation is excessive, Hazelnut, Goldenseal, Witch hazel, Nettle, Shepherd’s Purse and Grapevine have been found to be useful.
EPISODE 16
ANDROPAUSE (MALE CLIMATERIC)
Until recently, it was thought that men have no problems with their hormones. A lot of men feel funny about certain aspects of life, core personhood, waist pain, pain in the fingers, more
susceptible to slip discs, discomforts in urinary tract but do not relate them to biology or psychology. But just as it is reported in women in their forties, symptoms of clugs in the diameter of the blood vessels, heightened anxiety and the possible disruption in the tempo and efficiency of their job, chronic fatigue and lassitude eventually overflows into their sex life. Fats accumulate in the body and blood vessels narrowing the blood vessels and so increasing the tendency to have heart disease, O2 to brain -> compromised mental efficiency.
Symptoms are remarkable in only about 10-15% population of the male midlifers.
Causes
From 30yrs -> testosterone level by 10% every decade. At the same time, SHBG traps much circulating male hormone making it unavailable to exert its effect in tissues.
ANDROPAUSE is associated with LOW BIOAVAILABLE male hormone level. This male hormone is involved in building protein, in sexual behavior, in production of blood cells in the bone marrow, in fat and metabolism, liver function and prostrate gland growth.
And So Typical Symptoms are · Low sex drive
· Emotional, psychological and behavioural changes
· Decreased muscle mass
· Loss of muscle strength
· Increased upper and central body fat
· Weak bones and back pain
· Cardiovascular risk
· Sleep disturbances
· Fatigue and depression
The bottom line in this overview is that if you have some of them and your medical checks do not seem to reveal any observable cause, then ask your doctor to run your hormone profile.
For a bioavailable testosterone assay the end value ranges from 250-400ng /d/.
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